Saturday, December 31, 2011

i love weddings

good tv. thats what i need i think. :) i watched a wedding special and say yes to the dress at the gym last night, and did 63 minutes, 5.75 miles on the elliptical. and i enjoyed it!

this afternoon jason and i are trying to figure out how we can both get some time in. and we would like to do it kid-less. ( i SO need to find a babysitter! com on sarah, get your act together.) i think we will probably end up taking them, and using gym daycare for the first time. i told him its worth the 5$ to end the year right! :)

edit: scratch that. play center closed at 3. :( guess we will be going opposite one another.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

its good to be sore

i spent 25 minutes on the elliptical at the gym last night, and another 15 minutes at home this morning. i woke up with sore arms, and tight legs.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

on the tail of my earlier commiserating, i started a chore, put the kids down for a nap, and headed upstairs for a workout. 20 minutes on the elliptical (on the easy setting its stuck on) with a 30 second wall sit, push ups and a variety of crunches.

week 74

(before i even say this, i am going to qualify it. ugh. i feel like i am constantly saying something about this being a phase in our lives that jason and i are working through in order to get to a most stable time, or something about there being ups and downs in every thing a person does and that i am just experiencing a down (or up rather) now... but, those things are kind of true. really. they are also excuses, because while i didnt go to the gym last night, being home at 8 i could have. i just didnt. yes, 8 is late and we had just finished a big night, but i chose not to go. so, theres that.)

december 14 huh? well, heres the run down. on the 17th was our anniversary. we spent the day driving in a packed car with the kids to my parents in oregon. we cleaned up vomit out of a car seat and changed diapers in the car. oh how things have changed in 6 years. on monday we took a walk up to the lighthouse and back (one mile all together) after visiting ashley and her kids. i have so missed her. also, i ate only half of my fish and chips at the diner we visited.

tuesday morning jason and i left the kids with my mom and went for a 4 mile run around the back of my home town. technically it wasnt much of a run, i just enjoyed being out of the house for a while and an hour of chatting. (and it became apparent again that a running partner would be handy. with every one but jason, i typically let them set the pace. but jason will let me do it. guess i need to let him know what id like to do, and have him set the pace there.)

the rest of the week we were very sedentary. thursday night emma came down with a fever that lasted till we got her home and taking medicine for a double ear infection on monday, poor girl. i have been fighting a cold and some laryngitis for two weeks now, and sunday morning my mom said she had a stomach flu all night. then georgie threw up all over the kitchen floor. i was dizzy, couldnt focus, nauseous all day and part of sunday night.

we got home monday evening in time to check our weight (gain) for the week and for a good nights sleep. this week was definitely full of set backs. id love to think of some happy spin to put on it, but i just dont have one. i did not weigh all week while we were away, but on monday night i was at 164.4 pounds. this morning i weigh in at 164. ive got some great tasting, filling, low calorie and very low fat foods on the menu for this week, and i am keeping a close eye on my salt and water intake. those were out of control last week.

but, i bought a calendar. to hang on the wall in the kitchen. im going to meal plan, and also schedule work outs. i have heard from moms that this is the surest way to get them in. so jason and i will sit down and write out his new class schedule and PLAN for three days each week when he can be home in the evening so that i can go to the gym.

so, new years resolutioners- ill see you there. leave a machine open for me, would you?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

wednesday weight

ive sat on this all morning feeling discouraged, but not any more. i am back at 159 this morning. but, i am also irritable, bloated and achy. i sometimes forget that there are factors out of my control that affect the number i see. so, instead i will focus on the new outfit i am sewing for myself, and the fact that i just cut into a size smaller than i have ever made of this particular pattern. also, measuring my waist and hips for a skirt i am making up as i go, my measurements have stayed right on despite the issues ive had bouncing between 155 and 160 pounds the last couple months.

tonight and tomorrow are the last nights i can go to the gym before we vacation. i have packing and sewing and present wrapping to do, but i think ill get in at least one more good work out. (also, my mom has an elliptical at home. ive already told jason i need to use it at least once or twice while we are there. so he will help keep me accountable to that.)

for now, its time for lunch. and im back to eating a large salad to get in some extra veg, and allow me to feel like i can eat a whole lot (like i seem to want to do this time of day.)

Monday, December 12, 2011

the cranky

last thursday i did 3 miles on an elliptical at the gym and actually enjoyed every minute. it was quick (just over 30 minutes) and i worked hard with resistance all the way up and my ramp low so my legs worked from my butt to calf, and it was wonderful.

tonight i went and got there in a bad mood and left in a bad mood. some days i just get into a funk (after a good day even) and have trouble knocking out of it. bad or not, at least i went. 2 more miles and lots of resistance to try and sweat the cranky out.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

worth it

this morning i weigh 157.8 pounds. FINALLY! some success! its been a good and hard week. ive made better (harder) choices and had a miserable run at the gym. and lost weight. im optimistic that i can reach my goal.

i made pulled pork for dinner and had it on an everything roll and it was fantastic. i also want to eat at least one more, but maybe two and im choosing not to. its hard. but seriously, i think its worth it.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

any run at all

after a miserable 2 miles yesterday jason told me that any run at all is never a waste of time. thanks babe, but i do kind of want those 30 minutes back. everything seemed three times harder than usual. it was awful. but i went, and thats what counts. and i keep thinking what jason usually tells me, run faster and you ll be done sooner.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

a couple runs, a birthday, and a weight

friday afternoon after recovering from a full thanksgiving, jason and the kids and i, along with our friend gabe headed out for a very cold 4 mile run. the boys planned a 10 minute pace and i expected them to leave me behind. it was a nice run. i walked some quiet bits and did some sprints and really felt like i pushed myself. i checked my time at the 4 mile mark and realised i averaged a 10:30 pace. for me, thats a tempo run. faster than race pace. jason got an ear full when i got home, the stinker. it was not a 10 minute pace those boys were keeping, they picked it up several times and finished closer to a 9.

then again on sunday afternoon i hit the gym. 4 more miles. when i get a chance to go this week (looks like friday is my day) im planning to go five. i start to enjoy it at the end of the 4th mile, so im looking forward to that fifth one when its actually fun to be running again.

as for my weight, even with three runs in this week, i am up one pound for 160. i am changing around my eating habits this week too. i have a mid size breakfast instead of a small one, and i eat a large lunch early in the afternoon. then for dinner, i eat my smallest meal of the day. it has seemed to help with the snacking, so thats an improvement.

no rules today though. my sweet emma turns three today and we celebrated with breakfast cupcakes. and shes choosing dinner. i have a hunch it will be cheese and sandwiches.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

the kind of runner i want to be

first, thank you thank you to a friend of mine who gave me several more guest passes for the rec center and with jason home for thanksgiving break i expect to have a chance to use one this weekend! last night i enjoyed (well, after the first mile and a half where i felt like i was dragging weights off of every limb) 4 miles on the treadmill. i had lots of time to think (because i did some sprints, and some walking) and came up with a goal for myself.

i dont care to be able to pick up and run another half marathon with little notice. that kind of fitness would be great- but i dont have the time to make that commitment. i DO want to be someone who can go for a 5 mile run on an off day. i want to be able to quickly train for a half marathon in 8 easy weeks. i feel very strong and capable in daily life knowing i have fitness backing up my nutrition. so thats the goal. 3 miles will be the new easy run, and ill hang out between 3 and 5 miles most runs with the occasional 6 to make things challenging.

for a moment there i thought i had missed my weight last week- i checked though and i did post, just a day late. this morning i weigh 159 pounds. i am happy that i have been able to (mostly) maintain weight and not gain (much). (finding the positive here...) but, im also aware that at one point i was down 5 pounds from where i am now, and im bummed when i think about it. also, i am now 11 pounds from my end goal instead of 6. thats a little disappointing. i know though that i can get there, as soon as im ready to put the effort in.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

this morning i weigh 158.4 pounds. i am acutely aware of my food choices (for the first time in weeks) and while schedules (jason home later than expected, a broken down bike and a rescue trip to boise, wednesday night church, lab on thursday nights) havent given me time to get to the gym, i have been moving more. so thats good.

also, the beth moore bible study on revelation that ive have been doing at church is really great. i havent talked about it much because ive been so quick to share everything with jason. it seems like each week in my homework or the lecture i find something of encouragement to share with him about this rough patch of life we are in right now.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

a warm day in november

this afternoon was beautiful. jason and i took the kids out for a three mile jog (13 minute pace) and enjoyed some sun and conversation while georgie petted emmas fuzzy hood and emma shredded fall leaves over the side of the stroller. the whole thing was really quite nice.

except the reality that this nice warm day in mid november is a complete anomaly and will probably never happen again as storms are headed our way to make this officially a cold winter. saturday evening i told jason i really needed to get to the gym, but i am hording that last pass for a day that i know im really going to need it. because i know its coming. so i think God provided some sunshine today (even though forcast called for snow overnight) so that we could get out together and i wouldnt have to spend that last pass. so thoughtful.

lesson learned though. last winter i really took advantage of the gym and used my pass. in conversation this weekend about the running we had done this week (jason 10+ miles, me 0) i found the words for the situation- the time i spent at the gym saved me from this cold, dry, depressing season of overeating and stress. i know now that i would not have been as successful loosing the extra weight if i had not formed a habit in july and continued at the gym all winter long. and i am so so glad that i did.

(its nice to look back at a situation and think hey, i made the RIGHT choice. look at that. its a much better feeling than looking back at the situation and wishing i could change it all to make something better. i think i need to keep that in mind going into this winter. and i think ill start by going to the gym tomorrow. that rec pass doesnt do me any good in my wallet.)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


this morning i weigh 159 pounds. i must get in more exercise. i must also exercise restraint in the kitchen.

Sunday, November 6, 2011


i have been postponing writing this for nearly a week. but, i knew time was coming to get it down after i had a long day to reflect yesterday and then this evening a good conversation with jason about it (while on a three mile run. but thats not the point ive been so twisted up about.) so, here it is.

i have been really struggling with feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and overall feeling as if im letting every one down. i am not a people-pleaser, and im not sure i ever have been- but i have had a lot of issues related to feeling constantly down on myself, feeling as if i cant do anything right, as if i am not a good enough version of myself.

i have found minor situations creeping up in other areas of my life (an off hand comment turning into an upsetting night of dreams, minor physical insecurities leading to greater overall disapproval of myself) and ive decided not to let them take over my every thought. the solution: write them down to get them out of my head.

image source

i am choosing not to give up. i am actively choosing to make a change. and i am not doing it on my own.

Ephesians 3:20
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

i am not called to a life filled with insecurities. and i never need to question my value. i am Christ's glorious inheritance.

Ephesians 1:18
I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.

so tonight i am admitting to having lived the last several weeks in fear- and tonight i am claiming Proverbs 31:25 as my new reality.

image source

tomorrow begins with a confident hope, as a glorious inheritance, and without fear of the future.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

oh how i miss the rec center

this morning i weigh 158 pounds.

after a really long hard day yesterday i got layered up to go for a run, then was reminded i have 2 rec center passes that i won at a ladies night out this summer. i got rid of some of those layers and headed to the rec center as soon as jason got home. i ran a little over two miles then spent some time in the elliptical. i wish i had eaten dinner early in the evening because then i could have stayed longer, but i was just too hungry, so i headed home.

it was so nice, but also a really sad reminder of how much i miss having a rec center pass when its cold out side. i just dont function well when its cold and dark outside, but its so easy to head to the temperature controlled treadmill and elliptical and get a work out in. i miss it. a lot. i have one pass left.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

wednesday weight

157.8 pounds this week.
(and because im not working out right now, the reading here is getting pretty dry. sorry.)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

wednesday weight

i did remember to step on the scale this morning, and with jasons foot on the back of it i appeared to gain 22 pounds. the stinker. so weight take two, i actually weight 157.0 pounds, two pounds down from last week. whew. im not sure my psyche could handle getting into the 160s again.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

i survived one mile

i ran tonight. coming home from grabbing some last minute groceries i thought id grab my running clothes and take the kids from their car seats to the stroller. we jogged a mile around the loop at 10:19, then walked a second mile around the whole neighborhood. it was so nice. then i had an entire bunch of broccoli florets with a little cheese melted on them for dinner. yum. and now i know what time of day works for a run. (at least, until time change in a few weeks.)

Monday, October 17, 2011

fair weather runner

i told jason this weekend as we drove to the farmers market past several people out for walks on a fairly warm fall morning, that i am willing to call myself a runner as long as i qualify it with the term "fair weather". running in the cold bundled with layers of clothing and snot pouring from my ever dripping nose just doesnt sound like fun to me.

that was two days ago. and now im planning a run for this evening. while i still dont want to start out on a training plan, or even make running a regular part of my week, i do know that i need to get out there once in a while just to remind myself that i can. and to enjoy the quiet and now crisp alone time. walking with the kids last week was nice, but just doesnt have the same zing to it that a lonely run does. this morning i am looking forward to a lonely run.

Friday, October 14, 2011

two walks today for a grand total of three miles. one this morning pushing the boys in the stroller around jesses preschool, and another this evening carrying the feverish georgie in the sling and chasing emma around the neighborhood. they were both very nice.

also, i have been very aware of my food, and concious of drinking a glass of water each time i go into the kitchen. and ill take my vitamins just before i go to bed. that makes 4 points today, and the 3 yesterday... seemed like my self powered reward system is working.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

a good start

this morning had a rough beginning, but the day has come to a pretty good end. i took the kids out for a mile and a half walk (with a very flat stroller tire. jason has the compressor. but i was not staying inside any longer.) i swept the house with weights and folded lots of laundry. (like, eight loads of laundry.) i have drank lots of water and taken my vitamins. tomorrow i hope to do all the same things, and actually get up on time.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

no negative talk

this morning i weighed 159. my weight has steadily rose every week. im not happy, but tonight i am choosing a different path. i have noticed a lot of negative self talk lately. when i get dressed, when im sitting on the couch, when im cooking dinner, even sometimes when im talking to jason. and i dont want to go there- so im choosing not to. thats what i weigh, and thats it.

i did come up with a short list of activities and rewards with points. im not set on it, but i am hoping it will be a good starting point. im starting tomorrow.

activities and points
running one mile - 2
jillian dvd - 3
wear wrist weights while sweeping/mopping - 1
wear wrist weights while folding laundry - 1
walk one mile - 1
hydrate, 8 glasses - 0.5
take vitamins - 0.5
get up on time - 0.5

rewards and points
saturday break at the m - 30
buy used book - 15
$1 cash - 6

Monday, October 10, 2011

yes i know what day this is, and no it doesnt add up.

in all 63 weeks, i have not yet been as slack as i have been this week. and not entirely because i forgot to weigh in. wednesday was a busy morning with a dentist appointment and preschool and coffee date- but what about the 4 days since then? well, that was just me.

my weight has been fluctuating. a lot. i have yet to begin exercising again, and while i have been more aware of my eating habits, they have not changed much. i know the math, and i know it doesnt add up the way id like, and that its absolutely my responsibility. but that doesnt make me feel any better about it.

so, on thursday, i weighed 158 pounds. a gain of 0.2 pounds. but on friday, i weighed 156.2 pounds, a loss of 1.6 pounds from the previous week (and 1.8 from the previous day.) see, fluctuating. a lot.

heidi and i talked this week about ways to keep ourselves motivated to move more. she came up with a great idea of assigning point values to different physical activities and then spending those points on rewards. there would be large and small points on each list, and activities that took just a few minutes, and some that were longer. i think its a great idea- but havent taken the time to sit down a write a list. (just like i havent taken the time to write this post.)

wednesday is only a couple (very busy) days away, and this week i have a new goal: write the list. today is pretty full until evening, and i can say the same about tomorrow, but i expect to have something figured out by the time i weigh myself wednesday morning.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

walk to church

i forgot to post about our walk to church and back. so im sneaking this one in. our small group meets at our church on sunday evenings, and it was still so nice out sunday that i decided we would walk. jason pushed the stroller (thank goodness!) and i talked emma into asking her daddy to run fast several times. we had a great time just chatting, and the kids were pretty well behaved too. who knew 4 miles could be such a nice distance for a walk?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

a nice long walk

i did weigh myself yesterday morning. and i was super bummed. this week i weighed 157.8 pounds for a gain of 2.2 pounds. this was part fluke and part wake up call. this morning i am already down almost a pound and a half. i knew i was bloated and un-exercized and that i was not going to loose any weight this week. what i didnt expect was quite that big of a jump. im used to staying in the same spot and started to reevaluate my meals and activity this week. i switched up my cooking yesterday and tuned in to my calories. also, i took my first walk to preschool last night.

emmas preschool is just 4 miles round trip (i think i mentioned that here already.) so i loaded georgie up in the double with some snacks and drinks and we walked to pick up emma. he was content the whole time and only dropped his snacks once. when we picked up emma she was happy to get in the stroller and commented on all the motorcycles that passed us. our walk (including pick up) took just an hour and five minutes. the only down point (well, there are two) would be the goat heads in my stroller tires (twenty when i got home, and i know that several stuck and fell out on the walk) and how sore my bum is today. dewey has some hills! im looking forward to doing it again on days i have the time. (i need to be able to leave the house by about 4 in order to pick her up and get home in time for dinner.)

Monday, September 26, 2011

get moving

fall seemed to blow in last night and the cool weather made me eager for a work out. too bad that it started to rain by the time we got home from church. i pulled out the 30 day shred again and guilted jason into doing it with me. i can tell its been a while because the 20 minute work out was harder than it used to be. but- its a good start.

after dropping emma off at preschool this morning i filled the tires in the single jogger and took georgie for a walk around the neighborhood. as it continues to cool i think it might be fun to take the jogger and walk to pick emma up from preschool and walk the kids back home. its just 4 miles round trip so i could leave here at 4 to pick her up in pleanty of time and still get home with time to cook dinner. something to think about.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

hello plateau (again)

more on top of things today, i did weigh myself this morning. last week i weighed 155 pounds. this morning i weigh 155.6 pounds. hello again plateau.

i dont have a legitimate complaint though. whens the last time i ran? thats right, i have no idea. have i spent any time with a jillian dvd? nope. have i continued to eat the same foods (though i have consistently cut back the salt, and added one glass of water). so, should i expect to see change? no again.

i so struggle with living in a schedule. but thats what i really need if i am going to get there before the holidays (when every meal has twice as many calories in it).

the plan:
set up a google calendar with a minimum of 2 days of activity (a run or a video) that i can guarantee time for each week. (im thinking a video and a shower as soon as georgie goes down for a nap, after dropping emma off at preschool, or a quick run with him in the cooler afternoon. also, a run in the evening when jason gets home would work, but- his schedule is really unreliable right now. we will see. i will report back.)
add another glass of water in the morning (my usual is at night) while i am brewing coffee and pouring cereal.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

seriously? again?

i just remembered its wednesday. and did i weight myself this morning? no, i did not. i spent the morning cleaning toothpaste off my bathroom and my child. and getting the house ready for an appraisal as soon as i dropped emma off at preschool. and now its noon and no longer morning. so i guess wednesday is coming on thursday again this week.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

plateau over?

i have made an effort this week to eat less salt and drink more water. its not much, but its a start, and it paid off. last week i weighed 156.2 pounds, and this morning i weigh 155 pounds. i felt a little relieved and also excited that my plateau may be over.

also, a little song for you.
we are HIS portion. how incredible to be the gift that God gives to his Son? thats me. (and you too.)

Monday, September 12, 2011

a couple runs

friday morning before i took emma to preschool i went for a quick mile run with both kids in the double stroller. then saturday jason and i took the kids on a run/walk to the park and back before bed time. i keep forgetting to write then down, so here is the boring log.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

plateau week 2

i forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning and didnt realise id done it until after noon- so wednesday weight this week falls on thursday. this morning i weigh 156.2 pounds. thats just 0.2 pounds less than last week, so pretty much no change.

i have a few things to work on that will help- but i really feel pretty good about where im at too.

i need to get more sleep.
i need to hydrate. more water. lots more water.
i need to get out every day. ten minute walk around the block counts.

going into fall again i will be coming up with some new healthy recipes for favorite fall sweets and comfort foods. i need to remember not to over indulge in them, even though the ingredients are better for my body. too much is still too much.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

i was reading in deuteronomy last night, more of moses rehashing everything he said in exodus to the isrealites. these first two verses stood out to me- i like when verses in the Bible say things like "remember this and keep it firmly in mind." seems like a pretty obvious one that i ought to pay attention to.

the others are from pastors message on sunday that was actually about God and government, but they fit so well here that i wrote them down.

Deuteronomy 4:39-40
“So remember this and keep it firmly in mind: The Lord is God both in heaven and on earth, and there is no other. If you obey all the decrees and commands I am giving you today, all will be well with you and your children. I am giving you these instructions so you will enjoy a long life in the land the Lord your God is giving you for all time.”

Romans 8:28-29
And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

2 Corinthians 3:18
So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

Romans 12:1
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

Monday, September 5, 2011

3 miles

jason and i went out for a run this evening while katie tried to keep the kids in bed. this route was my idea, we meandered. a nice 3.3 miles (with a half mile walk at the end) in 38 minutes. 11.40(ish) minutes per mile. it was nice to get out of the house before our week really gets hectic tomorrow.

i think im going to shoot for 3 miles several times a week. seems like a reasonable plan right now.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

new direction

156.4 pounds. it seems i have reached a plateau. but, i guess that is supposed to happen every few months, and to be fair, the only exercise i got this week was on saturday. :)

now that the race is over, jason is back in school, i have the boys on a semi regular schedule, and the delish foods of fall are coming, it is time to get on track running again. i dont have to follow a schedule (like i did before... ha.) and dont have to run for distance, unless i just feel like it. how nice.

so expect some runs to be logged, and perhaps those last 8 pounds to be lost.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

the race: summer breeze half marathon 13.1 miles

friday morning at 1130 we left the house to drive to california. we arrived at 10 pacific time and quickly went to bed. the race was at 8am saturday morning, and hour from home.

i was up at 520. ate a bowl of oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, gathered the kids and loaded up into the yukon to drive to the race. all we needed to do at the race was to pick up our timing chips and warm up (and get over our nerves.)

i felt good. i stretched out my legs and did a little warm up jog with katie, no pain the whole time. i was excited to get to run again, and to be able to at least start out with katie for the first couple miles.

i prayed for us in the coral before the gun, for a pain free run with quick times. and God answers prayer.

a couple miles into the race, katie i and were hanging out at a 10:15/10:30 pace and feeling great. the temperature was good, fog blocked the hot sun, just a light breeze instead of a nasty headwind, and my leg felt fine- like it was never injured.

the aid stations were so nice to have, especially the farthest one out that was more than three miles from the one before. and it had skittles. i love skittles, but i have never enjoyed them as much as i did at 6.5 miles on saturday. except maybe at 10.5 miles. they were pretty great then too.

at ten miles, i let katie go on ahead. i wanted to turn it down a little, but kept her in my sight through the finish.

i was tired, but in good spirits at ten miles. i knew i could keep running. near 13 jason came and caught up with me to run the last bit, it was a nice surprise. when i knew the finish was close, i picked up the pace again. the finish is on the grass across the park from the path we ran on, and as soon as i hit the grass i sprinted in to the arch.

it felt good to speed up, and to know i would be finished in just seconds.

i did it. i ran all 13.1 miles. it was as if i had never been injured. but not only that, i did it much faster that i imagined i might be able to.

266th out of 339. 2:24:08, an 11 minute pace. fantastic.

and we all really did have a great time.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

3 more days

i am up one pound this morning at 154.2 pounds, but im not entirely surprised by this. i did make and eat my weight in yummy breads yesterday.

also yesterday i went for a run just after 8 (when its finally cooled off) and didnt make it very far. my calf was cramping and its not worth hurting it to run, so i came back home. im hoping it was just some soreness from the 4 miles the day before, not another tear from the 4 miles the day before. so now i just wait and see what happens. this is not how i planned for the race to go.

Monday, August 22, 2011

im melting... melllltttinggggg....

4 miles in 45 minutes. well, kind of. i went out at just after 7 and did two, but it was WAY TOO HOT. at about 1.25 i really wanted to throw up, and that doesnt often happen to me on a run ever, let alone such a short one. it was just too too hot. i made it home in 24:30 and then went out again at 8:15 to finish up the 4 miles. i just started my timer where i left off, and finished in 45:06. those last two miles were so much better. i was less tired, in a better mood, more willing to continue running even though my miles were up... i need to remember, even though i want to get the run done earlier in the evening, i just cant do it in that kind of heat.

race day is getting close!

i just received my race day information email. and a little bit of the jitters. everything is pretty much what i expected except the water station placement: Half Marathon: 1.55, 3, 6.55, 10.1, 11.45 thats three and a half miles between stops 4 and 5, at what i think is going to be the hardest part of the race. yikes.

i hadnt planned on carrying water, and i dont really want to pack it for 8 miles before i take my first drink, but i think i might. guh. i dont know.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

i took a short run late last night after jason got home from work. it was about 2.25 miles but i dont have a time on it because i checked my podcast at the wrong time. oh well. i felt good, it was nice to get out again, and im looking forward to the next one.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

only 5 to go!

i stepped on the scale this morning and saw that i had gained 147 pounds. :|

just kidding.

kind of.

our scale has a memory setting. i use number 1, jason uses number 2. once in a while when the kids are playing with it they time it just right and mess up our settings. we dont always notice until after the reading shows our current weight- it then shows a gain or loss of whatever the difference is from the previous setting. todays difference was 147.0 pounds. yikes.

so i did some math. last week i weighed 156.4 pounds (after gaining almost 2 pounds), and this morning i weigh 153.2 pounds- a real loss of 3.2 pounds. that feels pretty good. this week i ran again, i lost some weight again... there is a lot going on in our little corner, so it really is nice to have a couple things working in my favor today.

on another note-

i have been reading numbers. if you remember, i started in 1 corinthians and have worked my way to the end of the new testament and back around the beginning. numbers isnt just the story of how many fighting men are in the people if israel, its also the story of the deaths of the people God has trusted to lead the people to the promised land.

i didnt know that God told aaron to go to the top of a particular mountain and there he would die. people talk about what it might be like to know the place and the time... im pretty sure i wouldnt enjoy it. aaron was the high priest (i think) and as such, must remain ceremonially clean at all times. if he were to become unclean, his priestly garments would also be unclean. thats not allowed. his clothes were specially made of fine materials and adorned and could not be discarded or washed like other clothes that were made unclean. my point: aaron couldnt die while wearing his priestly garments or they would be made unclean having touched a dead body.

so moses, aaron, and aarons son all go up the mountain together. aaron removes his clothes and moses places them on eleazer, aarons son, the new high priest. and then aaron dies.

just like that?

im not sure how i feel about that. and even more, once he is dead, moses and especially eleazar cant touch him (or carry his body down the mountain to be buried) or they would become unclean. did they even cover his body with stones? i dont know. but its really interesting to think about the details, and im sure God had it all figured out.

a similar story is that of moses. God told him it was his time to die- to go to a certain place (i dont remember if it was the top of a mountain, or over the jordan... cant remember where) but to go there, and look at all the land that he had given to the israelites and once he had seen it all, he would die.

i talked to jason about that last night. his comment, how slowly or quickly do you think moses scanned the land? knowing that when he had seen it all, he would die. he had been with God on a regular basis, i wonder if it was kind of no big deal to him?

so yeah, numbers. give it a read some time. get through the counting of troops and some sacrifices and there is a lot of good stuff in there.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

3 miles

i RAN THREE MILES last night. (33 minutes.) it didnt hurt, and i still dont hurt this morning. it felt like such a victory after being in such pain, and just not running for weeks. i havent run more than 2 miles since my 9 on july 19. a month ago. it just felt good is what im saying.

im a little bit sore this morning, but plan to do another 3 miles tonight after the baby shower im going to, if i dont get home too late.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

these shoes werent made for walking

i went out again tonight for a short 1 mile while jason got the kids clean before bed. i felt good the whole time, and made it back in 10:30. i think im ready to start running again. just a little bit, but hopefully enough that im not walking 13.1 miles in a couple weeks.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

first time on the new legs.

i ran two miles tonight in a little over 20 minutes with jason and the kids trailing me. my leg felt good, my body felt hot, tired, and ready to quit. we wrapped and iced my leg at home, and the real test will be how it feels the next time. last time we did this my first run out on it was good, and the second was awful. fingers crossed.

not settling

ive been a little down this morning. i havent done any cross training (except some serious weed pulling on monday at the empty lots) and i have felt like ive gained some weight. this morning i weigh 156.4 pounds for a gain of 1.8 pounds this week. that was more than i expected, and a much larger gain than ive had in quite a while.

im bummed. but, its a new week, and i can make a change. ive been telling jason that we do not have to settle in situations and now i just have to tell myself not to settle here.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


yesterday morning i did level two under great protest. it is so much harder first thing in the morning. after that was over the kids and i got together and headed to Shu's for some new insoles and laces for jason. i love the insoles. i think they are super comfortable, definitely more supportive, and pink to boot. now i just hope they will help the injury. we also got some laces for jasons shoes (that desperately need replaced) because his have broken three times now. (he really, really, really needs new shoes.)

we worked out a schedule for today that includes picking up our fruit basket, a morning and evening work out for me (between 8am and 7pm) and a full day of work for him. it involved working from home for a while while the kids were both awake, and i really appreciate that.

at 8:10 i got to the gym and put in 60 minutes on the elliptical. i sweat a lot. i managed 5.7 miles which is a 10 and a half minute mile. its a pretty good pace for the elliptical. i am stamped and going back this evening for a second long work out. im hoping to get in around 5:30 and stay till close at 7.

now i just hope this works. id love to be able to jog a bit of the race in a few weeks. (21 days)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

running injured part 2

i didnt post last night because i was too bummed to write anything less than completely depressing. so heres the whole story.

yesterday morning i stepped on the scale and weighed 154.6 pounds, a loss of 1 pound. good. then followed a long day with minimal napping and maximum hysterical crying from both children. jason came home late because he went into work late (same story this morning) and at 815 last night i left for what should have been an easy 2 mile run.

should have been. i walked several minutes to get my legs moving, then started out on an easy jog. a quarter mile in i was stiff, but fine. three quarters in i was achy. at the end of a mile and a half i could have sat down and cried. i ran at a 10:30 pace, but the whole time i felt like i was running in glue. my feet were just stuck to the ground. and i hurt. my calf felt like a giant knot and i could feel a limp in my stride. i walked out the last half mile and went home to sulk.

we are three weeks out from this race, and if i cant make it 2 miles at what feels like an easy pace, how am i ever going to make it 13? good question, right? after a nights rest i think i have a plan. it has several parts. i am going to get new insoles for my shoes that have more instep support to help with over pronation. that is one of the big causes for calf strain. also, i am going to rely heavily on my jillian dvd and possibly my last 3 rec center passes for some elliptical work to keep my endurance up. (with the rec, i can mimic a long run by going in the morning for an hour or so, then going back in the evening for a second long work out.) as far as the actual race goes, i think i will opt for some run/walk to get through the miles.

i am not the type of person who will push myself when injured enough to cause further injury. when it hurts and i should rest, i do. i am not happy about it. actually, im really pretty irritated about the whole situation, but i know its best in the long run to get my leg to heal so that i can enjoy running again.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

whiney whine complainy pants

i went for a run this evening. i walked out to the loop, then ran a mile and a quarter from there. i checked my time when i got back to the loop again: 12:28. thats 10 minute mile pace. i was pretty shocked.

my leg feels fine, though my knee is pretty achy from being off the cement for almost 2 weeks. (as in, i quit early because of the ache. boo. ouch. blah blah blah. i fel very much the baby because of this.) that should lessen with each run the same as it did when i first got out of the gym. but besides that, i ran pretty fast, considering my time off and that i tried to take it easy and keep it at a jog for this first run.

im wrapped tonight and will try another slightly longer run tomorrow, inching my way back into it for this race.

25 days.
i spent another 20 minutes with my jillian dvd last night, but i still havent got a run in. jasons running when he gets home this evening, so i am hoping that will be my chance to test out this leg. im getting a bit nervous with the race being in a little over 3 weeks. i dont need to be fast, but i do want to know that i can complete the distance in a reasonable amount of time.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

a legacy of athleticism

is that the right word? im not sure, but you get what im going for, right?

jason and i have been talking a lot lately about the difference in our lives. tonight it was about his 7 mile run. i told him, its just 7 miles, youll be fine. he laughed and said what a difference that now we say "just 7 miles." a year ago, that was a killer. his 6 miles were rough last august for his last triathlon, and the farthest id run in recent years (and possibly ever) was when i was running with heidi (was emma around? now i dont remember, but i think so...) and we went 2-4 miles at a time. 7 would have killed me. but not now.

growing up, he played a lot of team sports. he was athletic in high school and in college. i played volley ball for all of jr high and half of high school, and as an early adult i had a pretty active life walking around for shopping or errands in eugene. but neither one of us had active parents. athletics were a part of team sports in school and they stayed with that time in our lives. that wont be the case for our kids.

george and emma, and whatever kiddos are still to come have parents who are intentionally physically active on a regular basis for the purposes of good health, and enjoyment! its not just about loosing weight (thats maybe the spark, or the first draft, but not the whole story, or the coals the keep the fire hot) its about finding something active that we enjoy, and making it an integral part of our daily lives.

we have been doing a lot of studying lately in several different parts of our lives (college classes for jason, run training, injury, weight management and healthy eating for me, bible study together and apart, leadership through role modeling with the teens) and have noticed changes take place over the last year in our attitudes and parenting and so many things. not a very eloquent sentence, i know, but im having a hard time putting a feeling into words. its just been pretty great to make these changes now, and to know that the impact they have on our kids will be a lasting one.

whew. okay, that said, i did level 2 again today. that makes 3 days in a row. its pretty tough, but in a good sort of way. the plan is to do it again in the morning with jason as we start our first week (of 3) of summer. we are testing out a couple new schedules and morning work outs are one of them.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

level 2

last night i did level two again, this time alone. jason had the kids and i paid close attention to the instructions and watched each move. i felt much more capable at the end, and i did at least one set of each move, and both sets of most of them!

this evening the kids were asleep and jason was still at work so i popped in level 2 again. it went really well. i am feeling weak all over because i havent been able to run, but i dont want to actually get weaker, so im trying to change my mindset about my hurting leg. i plan to take it out for a little jog tomorrow and see how it goes.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

i took a little walk with the kids yesterday to the park and back. my leg felt mostly fine. this morning jason and i did level 2 of the shred and that was a lot more difficult. jillian does a lot of planks and plank related moves in those 20 minutes. i dont have the upper body strength. next time i will go through it a little more slowly and figure out the moves and i think that will help.

with the reduced work outs comes a reduce in calorie burn (duh). but not a reduce in consumption. so, this week i am up 0.4 pounds and weigh 155.6 pounds. now its time to be more conscious, and more active, even if i cant run.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

running injured

on thursday i ran at the gym. for a mile and a half. i switched to the eliptical for a few minutes before giving up entirely and coming home. after a weekend of rest, and ice, and wrapping my leg i headed out last night for a nice easy 4 mile run.

it was not nice, or easy, or 4 miles. it seems i have a combination of runners knee and a grade 2 calf strain in my left leg. recommendations include a 4-6 week heal time. (the race is in 4 and a half weeks.) after a lot of ice and compression last night it felt so much better. today i walked to the park and back (stretching it out first) and it still feels okay.

my plan is to walk it often, ice it often, and keep it wrapped at night to keep swelling down. i will try to jog some short distance and see how it feels, but for the most part i think i am going to be cross training the next couple weeks to see if i can speed the recovery a little.

to be honest, im pretty bummed.

Friday, July 22, 2011

just fyi

i had a pretty down day yesterday all around. from the errands i had to run in the morning (a whole different story) to failed naps, a lousy run and sick babe (georgies got a fever hanging out around 102 that is still here this morning.)

but- after a night of rest, ice, compression, and elevation for my leg, and 7 hours of sleep for my mind i am feeling better. im planning to mow the lawn this afternoon while its cooler and to finish up sewing my quilt. its amazing what some rest will do for you.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

from the gym

with this leg pain and the stomp of my feet on a treadmill, i sure do feel like i have thunder thighs. :( hope to feel better when im finished in 4 more miles.

i wrote that text from the gym this afternoon. 18 minutes and only a mile and a half into my 5 mile run i had to turn it down to a walk and call jason. i hurt too much to just push through without any advice. we decided that i should try a different approach, maybe elliptical, and see if that helped, but to stop running on it.

the elliptical felt SO MUCH BETTER. i finished out a few minutes then drove to walmart and bough a new bottle of ibuprofen. i am resting, icing, compressing and elevating, and praying it feels better tomorrow.

sarah thinks ive done something to my ligaments, and that rest should help.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

last wednesday i weighed 156.4 pounds. this morning i weigh 155.2 pounds, a loss of 1.2 pounds for this week.

i am getting there.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

speed work-or- i run like a six year old

jason got home late again tonight but i felt like i needed to squeeze in a run or be overwhelmed by guilt for missing mondays 4 miles.

i left at a pace that felt a bit quick for me, but i decided to keep it up anyways. a couple times i felt my speed slipping, but picked it up again and on the downhill stretch of my mile i really had to remember to keep it up. i ran in strong to the house and checked my time: 8:54! the fastest i have ever run a mile (that i can remember tonight) is around a 10 minute mile. and definitely not under 10. i took a walk break to the quarter mile loop in our neighborhood to continue the speed work and sprint a quarter.

now, when i try to run fast, i feel ridiculous. i think i look like a 6 year old, arms bent at 45 degree angles and held tight to my chest with legs just flailing.

i did .25 mile in 1:44. excellent. i walked a little ways and ran again, this time at a slightly slower pace in an attempt to feel less dumb. (i noticed that if i run REALLY fast, my form is better and i feel less silly. or, if i run slower i feel less silly. its that in the middle fast pace that brings out the 6 year old.) i sprinted in the last straight of my .25 mile for 1:54. still a GREAT quarter time. and now i have something to check back to if i ever decide to do speed work again.

i finished up 2.5 miles total with a total time of 25:15, and i feel much better about my lack of running. i might even try to get up on time in the morning and get in some cross training.


its finally happened. i am so stressed that my body is fighting back. my hair is coming out and i have acne for the first time in years. yesterday i caught myself stress eating. i did not run my 4 miles yesterday. i could have asked someone to watch my kids, but i didnt. and jason didnt get home from work until 930 last night.

i am snippy with my kids, i am not sleeping well, (last night i finally decided to take some benadryl in order to get some sleep. trouble is, i have weird dreams and a hard time waking up when i take it. but the 8 hours of sleep might still be worth it...) i am not eating well or exercising as i ought to.

in sunday school this week we watched a video from skit guys, there was a line in it about feeling as if we have let God down. the actor playing God replied "you could never let me down, because i hold you up."

Monday, July 18, 2011

9 miles

on saturday i went for a run. a thunder storm was rolling in and the kids were kind of asleep, so i left jason to watch them and left earlier than usual. i did my 2 mile loop for the first 6 miles, and i was getting tired. i decided to do the 1 mile loop in my neighborhood for the last three. at 7.25 my ipod died. i just caught a glance at the time before the battery was completely gone. with luck, i was close to home so i came in and swapped for jasons watch to finish out the run.

i had wanted to bump it an extra mile and do 10, because jason and katie both did 10 saturday, but after that break at home for a couple minutes my legs were so dead. i finished up right at 9 miles, 1:47 minutes. the longest i have ever run before.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


im off to run my two mile loop of the neighborhood three times. ill let you know how it goes!

final time 1:09 for 6.26 miles. that went really very well. my last (and only previous 10k) was almost 78 minutes. i tried out a new perspective tonight (and running clothes, my skirt and a cotton tank) and kept negative self talk out of the run. several times i had to literally shake it off, but i felt much better throughout than before.

one year

tomorrow morning, around 10, marks exactly one year since i first sat down on the couch and cried out. i sat crossed legged in tears after a hard morning with the kids and feeling so completely lost and sent an email to jason.

sarah fitch to Jason

show details 7/14/10
date Wed, Jul 14, 2010 at 9:42 AM
subject im having an emotional day today

im cry-y today. i miss the girl i used to be, and im feeling a little trapped at home, and im frustrated. i know you are super busy, and i have all this extra time at home- but i cant use that time however i want because i have these two little people to schedule and tag along with me. can we sit down and figure out some time for me to have a break, even if its just three or four days a week?
i need you to encourage me, and tell me i am worth the effort because im feeling very low and discouraged. if we can make time for your work outs, and your classes, and changing your habits, then we can make time for mine too, right?
i want to be a better wife for you, and a better mom for our kids, and to do that i need to take better care of myself.
i love you, and could use a hug.

that email was the beginning of a change in my life. i set a goal to loose 65 pounds. i didnt do it by the end of the year, and i didnt do it by my birthday, and one year later im still not there- but i have made a change. today is wednesday, and this morning i weigh 156.4 pounds. no gain, no loss this week, but i have lost 57 pounds in 12 months. i am 8 pounds from my goal and as i work towards it i have changed my focus to running. its not my favorite thing, but two people who have been a great encouragement to me love it and its my turn to support them. jason and katie and i are running a half marathon august 27th in san leandro california.

so how have i changed in the last year? there are the basics, like a general knowledge of food components that i need and need in moderation, or tricks for making delicious (but high calorie low nutrition) foods into foods that are actually GOOD for me. i also dont long to be that girl anymore. ive become this girl who runs! who makes self care a priority, who CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN WITH A KID ON HER BACK!

what a year it has been. cant wait to see the changes in my life, and the lives of those around me over the next year.

Monday, July 11, 2011

5 miles at home

jason wanted to join me on my run this evening, so we took the double stroller and headed out in the heat for a 5 mile loop on the green belt.

it was HOT and miserable. it too us an hour and 6 minutes for the 5.25 miles. just under 13 minute miles. i ran like a slug and walk several times. i am a big baby in the heat. baby baby baby.

but i got the run in, and ill sleep good tonight.

i forgot to mention that i spent almost 4 hours in the heat of the afternoon weeding my garden. i didnt get it finished. i did get an incredible sun burn on my back from the low scoop neck of my tank top. that contributed greatly to the stink that was my run.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

vacation work out wrap up

i really had to guess after we got off onto the trail at the butte, but i think this is pretty close to what we ran today.

katie said it was 67 minutes. there were a few hills that were so rocky and steep we had to walk to keep our footing, and several places where we ran hills in sand. on the return trip i could see a two inch drag in my foot prints. it was hard work. im planning to take a quick picture of the trail on our way home in the morning to remember my first trail runs.

going back a bit, friday was a rest, thursday we did jillian, and wednesday we did our 45 minutes running again. i think that covers everything. this is definitely the most i have ever worked out while on vacation. :)

Friday, July 8, 2011

last night katie and i did level one of the 30 day shred again. today we "rested" by taking the kids for a walk, playing tag, simon says, and red light green light. tomorrow shes got a 6 mile run on the schedule, so thats the plan. but i gave full permission to leave me in the dust if she wants.

ill let you know how it goes.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

camping and working out

well, we arent really camping. its more of a plush condo with hotel suite sized rooms that happens to be near a camp site and fishing. but, im working out this week because i promised i would. last evening katie and i did the 30 day shred together in my room upstairs, and in a little less than an hour we are going on another run. 4 ish miles, or however far 45 minutes takes us.

i weighed myself this morning (yes, i packed the scale, and have stepped on it 3 times in the last week to help stay on track) and i weigh 156.4 pounds, for a gain of 0.2 pounds. its been a good week full of lots of different physical activities to keep me moving (a lot more walking than usual), but i havent had control over my food. we stopped to eat out on the way over friday and saturday, sunday and monday we had camp food and fast food again. im sure the different foods ate up the extra calories that i had burned. but- andie shopped for us for this week at the camp site and got some really great food. ive been eating pretty well since we got here monday night and expect a better number next week.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

family reunioning

jason and the kids and i drove to camp latgawa for his moms family reunion this weekend. we arrived saturday morning just after 2. after a couple hours of sleep we loaded the family up in grandpas truck and drove to the family mine and cabin, and hiked the mountain named for the father of the family.

and when i say hiked, i mean we scaled a mountain. i am so not kidding. there was rock climbing and everything. here we are close to the top (thanks katie) and georgie and i at the top.

katie and i took a run together last night on some pacific trails that come from our camp grounds. ive tried to map the run and this is the best ive come up with, though i am certain that i am off. when i mapped it though i did notice that the graveled trail is on gmaps, so running that one would allow me to track distance too. but the dirt trails were fun. this was my first ever trail run. we went 45 minutes and the pace felt good the whole time. i felt much better when we were finished too. katie let me jabber her ear off the whole time which definitely make time pass faster for me.

so its tuesday and we have all week to explore those trails!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

long run

after georges doctor appointment this morning i drove into boise with the kids to meet jason for a long run. i told him to map 6-8 miles and off we went. there was a lot of stopping to deal with the kids, and we lost georges hat in the first 2 miles (didnt find it on the way back either. hope some kid in boise gets to look cute and stay cool wearing it this summer.) we stopped to potty around mile 3, and then mile 6 i did quite a bit of walking. i needed to have made a sports drink or something for some electrolytes in the heat with this long of a run. so my stomach was cramping because of the lack. we cut a mile off the far end of the run and added it back on with a quick down and back near the office (that isnt on the map). we survived a total of 7.7 miles in 1:36 hour. that comes out to just under twelve and a half minute miles.

now we are home, kids are sleeping, my feet are tired and i MUST get to packing. after i make georgie a new hat.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

156.2 pounds

last week i was at 158.6 pounds and this morning i weigh 156.2 pounds! 2.4 pounds is a big deal. i feel back on track just in time to loose control of all my food prep again. we leave for family reunion/ camping on friday july 1 and i dont get home again until the 10th. i have plans to run while camping and while i might not get to have much say in what is offered for meals, i absolutely get a say in how much of it i choose to eat!

just 8 pounds to go!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

2 mile loop

i have mapped a new 2 mile loop near the house. this solves several problems. it is close to home the whole time, and easily cut down to 1 mile for odd numbered days. it is through the neighborhood, except for the distance between greenhurst and iowa, which is familiar and feels like neighborhood more than main road.

so tonight i ran just 2 miles in 22 minutes. they felt nice and easy (if you ignore that it hadnt been long enough since i ate dinner) and i plan to use that loop for a longer run wednesday or thursday before we leave for family reunion.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

another mother runner

feeling super bummed about yesterdays total fail of a run, i decided to go out again tonight. i didnt have a time or distance in mind, just wanted to run until i enjoyed it again. before i left i looked up a couple mantras to keep in mind. i found a couple that i liked. "not dead, cant quit" and "i am here now" and i also remembered a website that had some great witty ones for moms. its another mother runner and they have a great tee shirt shop called run like a mother. one of them says "the more i run, the less i want to run away". that was definitely me today.

my point: after putting emma to bed for the fourth time tonight in her fifth pull up of the day (guh) i went for a run. i stayed close to home but managed 4.6 miles in 49 minutes. pretty dang fantastic. thats just over 10.30 minute miles. i walked about 30 seconds of it. i enjoyed it. i changed my mind set.

and the mantras definitely dont hurt. my favorite? "run like a mother" and "this is the easiest part of my day".

Saturday, June 25, 2011


my 7 miles were a bust. i got 2 miles in and my tummy was cramping and i felt miserable and had to head home. i cut back to midland and did this route for a total of 4 miles instead of 7. i am upset, disappointed, and feeling miserable. because i walked almost all of the 3rd mile, my total time was 49 minutes.

i know i could have gone the whole distance this morning, if only i didnt so desperately need to go to the bathroom. jason is working today, and meeting with his group for one of his classes tonight at 7 in boise. i might go out again this evening, or maybe a little earlier and just take the kids if i am feeling more up to it. i know that this happens to some people, but i havent had to potty on any of my runs before today, and it just totally ruined my run this morning.

Friday, June 24, 2011

7 miles

im looking for possible 7 mi routes that arent box shaped and boring. i prefer running in neighborhoods (or the greenbelt, but we only have a couple miles of consecutive greenbelt.) and so far this looks like the best one ive come up with.

here is another, but this one keeps me on main roads.

okay, final verdict (i think) ill do the greenbelt and just double back on part of it to add enough distance. it shouldnt be too crowded early in the morning, and i wont have to deal with lots of cars since i will only be on iowa for two miles out of the 7. so thats the plan.

who knew finding a route would be so difficult? guess it would be easier if i werent so picky.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

4 beautiful miles

4 miles tonight. i left the house around 815 this evening and it was the perfect time of day to run. shaded, breezy 75 degrees. ill take about 100 more just like today.

my time was 43:19 minutes for 10:50 miles. (except i know my first mile was a 10 minute mile.) i ran carrying a water bottle. it was nice to have the water, but a little awkward too. and i wore a pair of running shorts (all day today) and (milestone) did not chafe all day, including mowing the lawn, yard work and 4 mile run. my work out clothes just doubled. i can wear normal shorts now!

saturday i am supposed to do 7 miles. i know i can, i just need to get over the obligation of it so that i WANT to.

a walk in the park- well, not quite

i took the kids for a walk this morning. (in the opposite direction i had planned because emma asked to slide. greenbelt became park.) we played at the park and then walked to a potty and back home again.

jason is swamped right now, but if he gets home by 9 i am leaving to run when he gets here. otherwise i will have to move my days around so that today is a rest and do the 4 miles tomorrow.

the good news is, i am feeling much more capable and i think the race is doable again. the distraction of other runners on race day should keep me from getting too bored, which seems to be my biggest struggle on runs that last more than a half hour.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

down down down

down two weeks in a row! its a miracle! (translate that to: i put in the effort and it paid off!)

last week i weighed 160 pounds and this morning i weigh 158.6 for a loss of 1.4 pounds. 10 pounds to go.

i have never liked to follow the rules

530 became 6. i got a full 7 hours of sleep and it was wonderful.

i had planned to run the 5 mile rectangle of greenhurst, 12th, iowa, and middleton. after jumping over 5 road kills in my path in the first 3/4 mile i decided i was not in the mood to run on main roads. (5 mile road kill total:8.) so this route is what i ended up with. i kept in mind the distances i was skipping and tried to add in the distance with curves and loops. and not a bad job id say! 5.1 miles total in 56 minutes. 11 minute miles. that is just perfect.

also, the morning run felt SO MUCH BETTER than any afternoon run ive had lately. the heat just kills me. (so what if im a tender little flower that needs perfect conditions to bloom. at least eventually ll bloom, right?) schedule change take 2 is going to happen soon i think. we will still be getting up early, but i will go run and jason can do jillian and/or homework till i get home- then head to work. that way he doesnt have to rush home so i can run in the evening, and he gets a chance to study when hes feeling more alert than at 1130pm.

tomorrow i am on for 4 miles. today the kids and i are going to settlers park for some water play and then ill do my jillian dvd during naps. and maybe mow the lawn. depends on how hot it actually gets today.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

i dont think im a morning person either.

jason did 30 day shred with me at 530 this morning. he had to quit a couple of times before the move was over. made me feel pretty strong.

tomorrow i run. havent decided if i should get up really early and try to go (think with the heat that would be the MUCH wiser choice) or wait until later in the evening. i just talked to jason, morning it is. so im off to bed. 530 comes really early.

Monday, June 20, 2011


i am running this route when jason gets home from work this evening for my 4 mile run today.

this is my equivalent of telling someone so that i am accountable for doing it.

4 miles in 46 minutes. i thought i made a wrong turn at one point, so i was slow and disorientated for most of the 3rd mile. once i figured out where i was in my route again, i was just slow and not disorientated anymore. but still, an eleven and a half minute average is quite enough for me.

my next run is scheduled for wednesday and i am going 5 miles.


this time every day i am hungry. every day. i feel like im eating either two lunches or two dinners. today i had a snack. im still really hungry. any of you afternoon munchers, or partaking of the second lunch?

also, i am not a runner. i have found that i dont really miss running when i dont do it. i enjoy it just fine when i run, but i dont track my pace and miles, and try to improve and challenge myself. im not a runner.

as a non-runner, training for this half has been nearly non existent. (but you knew that already.) this morning jason and i started a new schedule to try and make more time for me to run and really get prepared for this race. right now, i am very unprepared and it makes me very anxious about those 13 miles, no matter how easy they are supposed to be.

Friday, June 17, 2011

update on work outs and food

this morning i was sore, but not as much as i expected. (im pretty good at expecting the worst so that anything isnt quite so bad. :) my arm pit muscles (whatever those are called) and my quads are the worst. but not bad enough to stop me from shopping the outlet mall with mom and carrying a kid or two all morning.

i did the work out again late this afternoon when emma was sleeping and george was feeding himself. it went SO MUCH BETTER. so a sleeping emma is key.

food wise, i have been adding and adding veggies to my meals. this way i am feeling full with a lot fewer calories. examples: whole wheat sugar free waffles with strawberries instead of syrup and a banana for breakfast, egg on toast with a large bowl of salad and minimal dressing for dinner, grilled pineapple, chicken, pepper and onion kabobs over rice for dinner, bowl of cereal and banana for breakfast. so im pretty happy with my meals right now, i feel like i have control again.

i cant believe i forgot to mention i bought a running skirt, and a fantastic dress this week. dont believe me? take a look:

its really a great dress. and the skirt- super cute.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

i have not dropped off the edge of the planet

but, my mom is here and i have not had my computer around for more than a couple minutes at a time. yesterday was wednesday and i weighed 160 pounds. i had to check just now because i couldnt remember, but that is down 0.4 pounds. i am still bouncing back and forth these couple of pounds, but it is nice to see im not gaining.

also, my jillian dvds came yesterday and i did the shred this morning for the first time. verdict? i love that they are simple exercises. no coordination needed. but, i need to do it before emmas awake because she is super needy in the mornings. also, i need to put my shoes on and i need to get a mat. so, we will see how tomorrow goes with fewer kid interruptions.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

motivation tags

i have 10 pounds to loose to hit my initial goal. it is not a lot of weight but i have had ten pounds to loose for three months.

this week ive been searching for some motivation and new tactics at attaining this goal. ive journaled foods that ive eaten (and noticed that i really need to make some healthy cookies again- that seems to be my 2-300 calorie suck every day) and started using work out videos to get some calories burned on days i cant/ or dont want to run. this morning i re-read all the posts tagged "motivation." its been almost a year and my life has dramatically changed. sometimes in the rut i forget that.

eleven months ago i weighed 213.4 pounds and last wednesday i weighed 160.4 pounds. thats 53 pounds that i have lost and maintained for nearly a year. i have gained a couple of times, but i have not gained any amount that stayed on. each time the scale went back up- i made the choice to do what i needed to and loose those pounds a second time. that is an accomplishment. that is a life style change. even if it takes me a while still to loose those ten pounds (not that i want it to) i know i can because my life has changed.

breakfast: coffee with sf peppermint and fat free 1/2 and 1/2, two pieces of bountiful basket toast with cream cheese and sf raspberry jam, bowl of cantaloupe

Friday, June 10, 2011

9 month before and after

im in the need of a little extra motivation. (some sunshine would also be nice, but ill take what i can get right now.) so here are two photos, taken september 3, 2010 and june 3, 2011

check in

i started this morning with that joy bauer video again, this time using both weights when they tell you too (i missed that last time) and boy an i still sore from two days ago.

breakfast: one piece of toast with fake cream cheese, sf raspberry jam and a banana. ice tea to drink (i didnt make coffee last night and jason was up too late to do it this morning.)
lunch: chips, cheese, taco meat and a small salad of lettuce, broccoli, celery, carrots, cabbage, onions
snack: very small bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream
dinner: small bowl of home made mac and cheese (colby jack, whole wheat shells), steamed asparagus with butter
dessert: two dark chocolate peanut butter smores

Thursday, June 9, 2011

work out videos

i opted to skip a run yesterday and find a work out on hulu instead. (im glad i did, because at the end of the video a storm blew in, and jason ran when i would have, and got soaked!) i chose this joy bauer video and actually really liked it. i was usually a step behind, and several times my coordination was just so off, but i kept moving. i really enjoyed that weights were incorporated. (i wore my wrist weights for the first 15 minutes, and fifteen minutes later a weight circuit was introduced. so i got them twice!)

emma enjoyed the video too. for full mental picture, she was wearing her pj tee shirt, panties, and fuzzy pink boots, and she kept sticking her toy phone in her panties (because she didnt have a pocket) then taking it out and calling someone to say "were dancing! im dancing with mommy! yeah, im dancing, ill talk to you later!" too funny. i tried to teach her a jumping jack. no go. and she did okay with the bird dog, but kept lifting the arm and leg on the same side instead of opposite. :)oh- and jasons favorite when i told him, when i was doing push ups emma tried to climb on my back to "ride mommy". i thought i was going to die.

on those work out video lines, yesterday i bought two jillian michaels videos. (i bought comic book boards to make mini fabric bolts to organize things upstairs, and needed to spend another 15$ to save 7$ in shipping or whatever amazons flat rate is. anyways... ) i went with 30 day shred and shred-it with weights. i am looking for ways to incorporate weights and that second one looked like a good way to do it. both have a bajillion good reviews... so thats the plan for days i dont get in a run, or just want a little something extra.

todays meals
breakfast: cup of coffee with sf irish cream and a little 1/2 and 1/2, banana
lunch: salad (lettuce, celery, carrots, onion, broccoli, red cabbage) and bean, cheese and green jalapeno salsa quesadilla
snack: i CRAVED something sweet, so i made a couple dark chocolate peanut butter smores.
dinner: (at nearly 10pm, ugh) one big taco with lots of salad and salsa and a little meat and cheese

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

my life is getting in the way. of my life.

i am up one pound this morning at 160.4 pounds. why? portion control. veggies did not take up half my plate this week. what am i going to do about it? food journal.

in the past (years) when i have tried a food journal i have found myself paying so much attention to what im eating that i didnt eat enough. i dont expect to have that issue this time around. what i think will happen is instead of just munching whatever it is im hungry for, i will have to weigh the effort of reporting it. and im generally a pretty lazy person so i think that will be enough to keep me from snacks and extra portions.

breakfast: one large poland mug of coffee with sf macadamia nut syrup and some fat free 1/2 and 1/2, 1 glass of chocolate slim fast shake in 1% milk (this is my go to when i feel i cannot be trusted to make a wise choice on my own.)

(edit: lunch: one carb balance whole wheat tortilla filled with three cubes of steak, half cup black beans, and once slice pepper jack cheese, one orange from grandpa george.

snack: bowl of strawberries


two peices of 9 grain health nut bread, one large roasted tomato, two poached eggs, a hand full of steamed asparagus with a little melted fake butter. delicious.
i also ate a couple handfuls of jasons popcorn just before bed.)

also, i think i might do a work out video today. just sounds like a good idea.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

bad food good run

i felt ill last night. we have had so much greasy food this weekend that last night i felt so sick. it has been good good food, and not good for my tummy. (greasy foods have always made me sick, but doesnt stop me from eating some yummy salty fries!) i felt so yucky yesterday that i didnt go run.

this morning after breakfast though i got changed and left. i headed to oakmont sub off iowa and just kept left. heres the loop i ran. it totals 2.4 miles in 27 minutes for 11.15 miles. i kept a slow jog pace and managed to jog the whole distance.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

159.4 pounds

its wednesday.

last week i weighed 161 pounds. this morning (at 530, but thats another story) i weigh 159.4 for a loss of 1.6 pounds. 150s. wow. that feels as good as i expected it to.

things that have changed this week. im snacking a lot. on fruit. ive started buying a bountiful basket and because jason doesnt eat most of the fruits (pineapple, mangoes, apricots, blackberries, cantaloupe...) the kids and i do. also, dinner is earlier. like, 430 or 5 early. im not as hungry this way, so i eat less. and the last two days ive started getting up early.

in order to eat breakfast, drink one whole cup of coffee, and read my bible a bit before emma wakes up, i have to be up by 530. usually. this morning she was up at 532. id say she typically wakes around 645 though. i think. days that i have peace in the house before i begin parenting go SO MUCH BETTER. especially with things like zombie emma happening. id much rather wake up to an early alarm than the zombie baby and her mess. then when i have to clean poop off the rails of georgies crib (pooped out the leg of the diaper, then played in the crib a while. walked all the way around it apparently. that is, if i can read poo tracks as well as i think i can.) or spend twenty minutes laying down with emma to put her to sleep while my lunch gets cold, im at least in better spirits about it.

looking forward to next week. feeling encouraged. also, will post about The Race a bit later. (i need to squeeze in some grocery shopping before bed time.)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

5 am is the new 8:30

its been at least a week and a half since i sat down with my bible at breakfast.

i got up at 5:05 this morning with a goal in mind. coffee was brewed (thank you delay brew timer!) and ingredients for scones were already laid out on the counter. i prepped and baked a batch of whole wheat, sugar free, cinnamon oatmeal raisin scones and sat down with my coffee and God.

lamentations. i know these instructions were vital for keeping the israelites healthy, but reading about skin disease and the hair turning white or not turning white and open sores does not make me feel like im getting to know God any better. so i read a couple chapters then headed to isaiah. then flipped to the back of my bible to find all the devotionals marked under the subject of parenting. i read half of them (about ten).

i am feeling much more prepared for today.

Monday, May 30, 2011

i wore white spandex.

i ran this loop today in an attempt to mix it up a little. i chose a distance that seemed doable from memory but that i didnt actually know the mileage for so i could run for time and not for distance. there were a LOT of people on the greenbelt today. and i was wearing white spandex.

i must say, even if my weight hasnt changed in the last couple months, it appears that my filter has. my other running clothes were wet in the wash (i appreciate the laudry help, but because of it, i had to run in white spandex shorts.) so on with the shorts. they are under-armor shorts i bought a couple years ago to wear under dresses and skirts in the summer so my thighs wouldnt rub together and chafe. (too much detail? well, its part of being overweight.) they were never meant to see the light of day. it was a pretty hard mental workout to get over how i might look and just run. (on a busy road, and packed greenbelt on this national holiday when everyone and their dog (really.) were out to see me in my white spandex shorts.)

anyways, about the run. it was really a run/walk. i did about 3/4 running and 1/4 walking (most of the walking was the return trip on the greenbelt.) my time was 50 minutes. i felt good when i got home, just a little sunburned. and didnt know the distance until i mapped it just now. i was hoping for around 4 miles, because of my time, but 4.57 is what gmaps tells me. that is just under an 11 minute mile. and lots of walking. i like this new pace. maybe for a longer run later ill just take more of the greenbelt.

the point: i had a good run today. i enjoyed that run while wearing white spandex shorts in a very public place. these are both milestones.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

i need a mantra

three slow miles. 40 minutes.

i am getting in my own way. i am unmotivated. i am telling myself i am too tired, too busy, still recovering from being sick, its too far, too hot, too hard.

i enjoyed my three slow miles today.

i need a mantra to push through these times.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


this week i put out a little more effort to get a run in. monday i put in another short run around the neighborhood pushing the kids with a flat front tire on the stroller again. (but i bought a pump yesterday so that doesnt have to happen anymore.)

last week i was so close to 150s, just 0.6 pounds away. but, it didnt happen this week. (i know i didnt put in the effort to make it happen.) this morning i weigh 161 pounds. if i keep making time, even if i have to take two squabbling kiddos in the stroller to do it, then my runs will get faster and longer and i will see a change. right now im learning patience.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

early (for me) morning

i got up at 645 this morning to run before church. first i had to pick up the mess emma made in the kitchen getting into things, then change her out of the pull up she pooped in... but i did eventually make it out the door. i ran three miles in 32.30. it was a slow run, but i havent gone more than just a couple miles in at least a month, so slow was good.

and let me tell you, 7am is a beautiful time of day to run.

Friday, May 20, 2011

fake running math

double jogging stroller + 30 pound toddler + 20 pound baby + strong head wind = running with a 70+ pound parachute (except i was pushing it instead of pulling it.)

i got out the stroller, fed and changed children, and we ran this morning. i told katie i would go 30 minutes 3 times this week to get back into it. i did just shy of 28 minutes which will have to be good enough for today. we went a little more than 2 miles. next time i will bring snacks for the kids to keep them more occupied. i am aiming for morning runs this summer with the kids. this will keep the sun out of their eyes, and make it a little cooler for all of us.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


its been a while since i mentioned what im reading, and thought i should update you all on how its going. i made it through genesis and exodus and leared so much that i didnt know. i had no idea how short some of the classic bible stories i grew up with really are, and how long and drawn out others are. but now im in leviticus.

i usually read while im drinking my coffee or tea and eating breakfast. but leviticus- oy! i just cant read more than a chapter of "take hold of the animal at the entrance of the tabernacle and slaughter it. sprinkle its blood on the horns and seat, and pour the rest of its blood... burn all the fat, including the lobe of the liver..." and everything is repeated at least three times. once when God gives the instruction to moses, once when moses passes the instruction to aaron, and again when moses or aaron carries out the sacrifice.

i understand why its in there. why it happened, why God gave those instructions. we CANNOT do it on our own. we cannot atone for our own sins in a way that is satisfactory. we just dont cut it. and the israelites couldnt either. consider this: two of aarons sons who heard first hand the instructions didnt offer the proper sacrifice and the GLORY OF GOD BURNED THEM UP! the point of the old testament laws? to show us that we NEED A SAVIOR. and boy is that clear.

but does it make easy breakfast reading? oh no. not at all. so im having a hard time getting through leviticus. im in chapter ten now.

i thought about it, then completely forgot!

yesterday was wednesday! and what a wednesday it was. we have been sick (george with a double ear infection, emma with her first ear infection and pink eye, me with laryngitis and a regular old cold that turned into pink eye last night) and cranky. but dont those things usually go together? add in two more kind of cranky kiddos and what a house i had yesterday.

BUT- theres more! on tuesday night i was feeling well enough that i did a short 1.25 mile run around the neighborhood at a ten minute mile pace (that included LOT of walking for my poor sick lungs) and i am so glad i did. i NEED to get in more miles in order to add miles. im pretty much starting over again.

back to wednesday. yesterday morning i weighed 160.6 pounds. i lost one whole pound this week and am only 0.6 away from the 150s. this has taken FOREVER. but i have renewed faith that i can make it happen. and as i have said about a million times, i REALLY REALLY need to add some sort of muscle building activity in order to get my body to burn more calories just being alive. that is the key that i am missing in these last few months. i just dont know exactly what that looks like.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

the first step (after a break) is the hardest.

i ran last night. i went about 2 miles, back and forth and around the neighborhood. i didnt time it, instead i did some hills. its been two weeks i think since i last ran because we have been working on the old house and time is just so limited. the run felt good, i felt very capable but sluggish. i need to add miles in order to do a half later this summer, but i need to get in some consistency first.

this morning i weighed 161.6 pounds. that number felt pretty good. i lost 1.6 pounds and have been trying to pay closer attention to how much i am eating through out the day not just at meal times. im not giving up, i will get to 148. ill get there.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

a new plan

for the sake of record keeping, this morning i weigh 163.2 pounds. that is a gain of 2.6 pounds. i am not concerned about this. i wasnt careful about my meal choices and we even had dinner out a few times (three) this week. i know that the 12 pounds i have left to loose will be hard work, and right now (with the house to fix up and still keeping the boys (2-3 days per week) i do not have the time to dedicate to exercise and meal planning. i will watch, and maintain in the mean time.

i will get there, but stressing about the time frame isnt going to move me in that direction any quicker.

Monday, May 2, 2011

wednesday april 27

wow i am behind.

on wednesday (knowing that the rest of the week would be so hectic i wouldnt have time to even consider a run) i asked jesse to keep the kids for me when he came to pick his up.

4 miles, 42 minutes. my first two were 10s and my second two were 11s. and i felt great. now, we will just see how i feel after taking 5 days off and doing a whole lot of "cross training" dandelion pulling, floor scrubbing, painting.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

25/25th or something close to that

or not actually that close to either one, considering that today is the 27th, and i lost a total of 13.4 pounds. i was 174 pounds the first week of february when jason, katie and i started, and this morning i weighed 160.6 pounds. (thats a 3 pound loss this week, and i am pretty proud of myself.) the end goal is still 148, so i have 12.4 to go. 12 pounds is not a lot. i can do that.

(i should add, jason lost a total of 30 pounds. way to be an overachiever.)

in other news, i ran 3 miles yesterday in 33 minutes. (do the math... thats 11 minutes miles!) and this afternoon i did 4 miles in 42 minutes. my first two were just under ten minute miles, and the second two at eleven. i am getting faster, now i need to focus more on my endurance and adding distance. time for another long run soon.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

i am so hard core

ha. who am i kidding?

i did FEEL pretty hard core for the 16 minutes i ran yesterday though. i turned 26 yesterday. i did the two things i typically try to do on my birthday: buy something for someone else, and do something just for myself, but i did a lot of atypical things too. i went for a run before dinner. outdoors. in the pouring rain and hail. with a headwind. and i ran uphill. and i liked it.

so heres to being 26 and making the better choice even with sometimes i dont feel like it.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

good times

i ran yesterday, out doors. after i sprayed poison all over a couple empty lots that belong to jasons dad (to keep the weeds down).

point: 4 miles in 44 minutes is a fantastic time when you consider that i walked at least a half mile of it because something in my leg was just on fire. the run felt awful, but the end result was a big boost to my running confidence.

today i did "cross training" and by that i mean i pulled weeds and shoveled rock. :)

Friday, April 22, 2011

new shoes, a long run, and my reflection

i think i mentioned that we have decided not to renew our rec center pass when it expires may 8. we could just use the money elsewhere right now (like to help cover having the old house empty. our renters moved out yesterday.) but, we compromised and decided new shoes would be good use of some of that money since i would now be running only on pavement.

i went to idaho running co and got fitted for a pair of shoes. i wish i could remember the name of the girl who helped me, she was fantastic. (sweet to the kiddos too, it felt easy to have them there, and shopping with both kids is never easy.) i came home with these shoes:

i really like them. they are nice and light, and feel good on my feet. well, except that after i put them on in the afternoon and walked around the house in them i noticed my toes rubbing the end. they were just a little too small after being on my feet all morning. i was so bummed. it was 330pm and i decided to drive back into boise and see if i could size up. i planned a 7 mile run and really wanted to do it in a pair of new running shoes. so i got back to Shu's and they didnt have a 9.5 in that shoe. so i tried on a couple more pairs and went with these ones:

(i feel like i should add, that is clearly a stock photo, not one i took of my shoes. but thats just what they look like.)

i ran in them last night at the gym. they are just fine. not fantastic, but comfortable, and i went 7 miles in them. i love their color, i just wish i knew if i liked them better than the others that i chose first. a hundred dollars is a lot to pay for a pair of shoes and i want to make the best choice, not just a good choice. so, im trying not to think about that, and just enjoy running in them for a few weeks before i decide.

enough about the shoes. i ran 7 miles (in 90 minutes)! well, i did some run/walk the last 3.5 miles, but my running was all at 12 minute mile or faster, and i was tired, but not a puddle when i finished. a bit bored though. i need four or five more songs to get through that long without repeating. im proud of myself, and thats what counts.
i also stopped and took a picture of my reflection i talked about last time. i took it after the 7 miles, just as a reminder that i did it.