tomorrow morning, around 10, marks exactly one year since i first sat down on the couch and cried out. i sat crossed legged in tears after a hard morning with the kids and feeling so completely lost and sent an email to jason.
sarah fitch to Jason
show details 7/14/10
date Wed, Jul 14, 2010 at 9:42 AM
subject im having an emotional day today
im cry-y today. i miss the girl i used to be, and im feeling a little trapped at home, and im frustrated. i know you are super busy, and i have all this extra time at home- but i cant use that time however i want because i have these two little people to schedule and tag along with me. can we sit down and figure out some time for me to have a break, even if its just three or four days a week?
i need you to encourage me, and tell me i am worth the effort because im feeling very low and discouraged. if we can make time for your work outs, and your classes, and changing your habits, then we can make time for mine too, right?
i want to be a better wife for you, and a better mom for our kids, and to do that i need to take better care of myself.
i love you, and could use a hug.
that email was the beginning of a change in my life. i set a goal to loose 65 pounds. i didnt do it by the end of the year, and i didnt do it by my birthday, and one year later im still not there- but i have made a change. today is wednesday, and this morning i weigh 156.4 pounds. no gain, no loss this week, but i have lost 57 pounds in 12 months. i am 8 pounds from my goal and as i work towards it i have changed my focus to running. its not my favorite thing, but two people who have been a great encouragement to me love it and its my turn to support them. jason and katie and i are running a half marathon august 27th in san leandro california.
so how have i changed in the last year? there are the basics, like a general knowledge of food components that i need and need in moderation, or tricks for making delicious (but high calorie low nutrition) foods into foods that are actually GOOD for me. i also dont long to be that girl anymore. ive become this girl who runs! who makes self care a priority, who CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN WITH A KID ON HER BACK!
what a year it has been. cant wait to see the changes in my life, and the lives of those around me over the next year.