Wednesday, October 17, 2012

last week i weighed 170, this week i weigh 169. i have no time for chit chat- its been a long three weeks. im ready for a break.

Monday, October 15, 2012

before two weeks slip by

last wednesday (oct 10) i weighed 170 pounds. im blaming circumstances. this week should be back to my new normal of 168-169. more to say, but no time.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

switch up.

this week i weigh 169 pounds. im not ready to hash it all out, but its been really stressful. and its not going away any time soon.

jason and i ran 5 miles tuesday before we took the kids to linder farms and while we were out i made an out of the blue desicion to run the 10ks instead of half marathons.  its my race, i can run what i want, and i get to enjoy it. so if i dont have the time to train for two halfs, i should not be doing it and hating every moment. im not getting the miles in i need and i want to have a great race in december, so im switching it up. and i feel really good about it now. its something in my control, and instead of letting it control me, i am taking the lead. its a good feeling in this stressful time right now.

Monday, October 1, 2012

9/25 7 miles on the boise greenbelt
wednesday 9/26 i weigh 169 pounds
9/27 2 miles on the treadmill at home
9/30 left church early, stomach flu all afternoon while jason was at work, and a 2 mile walk in the evening after her got home.

its been a long week.

Monday, September 24, 2012

early morning running

thursday jason and i walked 4.5 miles instead of running. too much smoke, too tired lungs.

sunday evening we walked just over 5 on the greenbelt in nampa and tried to nail down a new schedule. (this is always agonizing, because our schedules are determined by work load, classes, babysitting... things out of our control.)

we settled on a 5 am wake up and decided i would get up with him. i remember how hard it is to be the first one up (i used to open at moxie 3 days a week) so i offered to get up too. that way i could run early on the treadmill with less fear of waking the kids (they dont get up till 7-730, so if im finished at 6 they should be plenty asleep still when im finished making noise.)

so this morning we were up at 5 and i was finished with 3 miles before 6am. i hope the rest of the day goes as well.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


tuesday night i stayed on the couch with a fever, head ache and chills. emma did jammies and bedtime for me. she was such a big helper. really. wednesday morning i felt much better, but by the end of the day my throat was hurting enough to send me to quick care. my strep test came back negative, so a second stick was shoved in my throat and i wait two days to find out if it really is strep.  today its still really sore (i mean, bloody around my tonsils sort of sore. it hurts.)

so, i think im going to have to back out on plans to run with jason. im sure it would just make me more miserable to try to breath while running with the haze of smoke outside. we have a local fire filling the vally with smoke.  looking outside at noon it looks like sunrise still. a soft glow because there is so much smoke in the air.

wednesday morning i weighed 167.6 pounds. im attributing that to the fever for several days. so thats where i stand now.

Monday, September 17, 2012

a little catch up.
friday september 7 i did go into boise and run with jason. we did 5.5 miles on the greenbelt.
saturday (9/8) we spent the whole day (minus kids naps) replacing fence posts and pulling 13 lawn and leaf bags of weeds at our rental.
sunday (9/9) we did 5 miles on the nampa greenbelt.
monday (9/10) i walked 1 mile on an incline on the treadmill
tuesday (9/11) i walked 2 miles on the treadmill (just trying to get it in.)
wednesday (9/12) i weighed 169 pounds.
thursday (9/13) i drove in to boise to run with jason. we did 4.75 on the greenbelt trail at 11:30 pace, our best so far. finished it up walking back to his office for 5 total.
sunday (9/16) we had 9 planned on a new trail in nampa, but a mile and a half in i knew i hadnt had enough water to drink all day and it wasnt going to happen. we scaled back and did 5 instead (after a potty break at jesses house.) the 9 are still on the schedule, tentatively for thursday in boise.

i have been reading in jeremiah for the last couple months. and this week i started beth moores daniel biblestudy.  God really planned that out for me. ive been reading about the babylonians coming to capture the city for more than 40 chapters and in the first 2 verses of daniel it happens.

also, on saturday i had the chance to take part in the simulcast.  i was one of the moms with kids at my feet, in my jammies singing along. for the first couple hours anyways. jason and i tag teamed the day to make it work.  he watched the kids while he mowed the lawn, then i had them for lunch and naps, then he brough back 3 kids from boise for a friend and had all 5 for the next two hours. then i took a longer break and helped out for another hour. then i finished up the last session and came down to make dinner. there were moments that were so hard just having all the kids around and trying to focus on what i was learning, but it was also so so good. i am glad we were able to make it work.

so thats where im at right now. ive settled one of the issues i had plaguing me last week, and today i will work some more on another. at nap time i will sit down to finish my bible study homework. thats the plan for today.

Friday, September 7, 2012


i have spent a lot of time this week feeling off. i tried reading, walking, eating, quiet time, a hot bath, and still couldnt get a handle on it. i told jason there are just too many things buzzing around in my head and i cant get any of them to hold still so i can focus on it to take care it if. its exhausting.

thats my explanation to today being friday and finally posting for wednesday. its just the way its been this week.

last wendesday, the 29th i walked 4.25 miles and did 15 minutes of weight training after i posted.
sunday september 2, jason pushed the kids and we ran out to the lake and back. a 7 mile loop with a good 2 mile climb. (we are sticking to our sunday runs. this one was right after church instead of waiting for the evening. im not sure yet which i prefer.)
wednesday the 5th i weigh 168 pounds (again. still.)  my new number i suppose. i swing between frustrated that i cant seem to break it, and pretty content that my body isnt swinging several pounds up and down all the time. i walked 1.5 miles while reading the secret life of bees (jason had the kids at church) in an attempt to get out of my funk. it didnt work.
thursday the 6th, in the late afternoon, i took the kids for a 3 mile run/walk. coming back the end of the second mile my calf balled up. i clearly remember that pain from more than a year ago and dont like to mess with it, so i walked most of the last mile with short running breaks.

and that brings me to today. i plan to take the kids in to boise tonight to go 5 miles with jason before dinner. his day isnt panning out like he though, so im not sure what time that will actually be, but i always like a run on the boise greenbelt, so it should be good.

and today i am feeling a little better. i cornered a couple of those buzzing issues and tried to get them organized. one of them i have no control over and no idea what is going on at the other end, and thats what the real struggle is. i like to stay informed. i am having a hard time resting in today and trusting God with tomorrows struggles, when tomorrows struggles affect the choices i make today. its been rough.

i was given a little gift yesterday though, a compliment on the way emma and georgie were acting. i hear ashleys voice in my head telling me "this is your pay check." thats what im working for, training my kids to be kind adults, and when someone notices its working, thats my compensation. it was good reinforcement and encouragement for me.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

quiet week.

we took the kids camping friday night, and were exhausted by bed time saturday.  (who am i kidding, i was ready for bed at 2pm, and actually went to sleep at 8pm) my eyes started hurting almost as soon as we got home, and finally yesterday afternoon i was able to see my eye dr. i was feeling better by the time i woke up this morning, but that didnt let me go back in time and feel well enough to get in loads of running. jason and i did put in 7 miles on sunday evening though, and it was so nice. we did a trail run from his office out to barber park back, and i really did enjoy it. tonight ill walk for a while after i get the kids in bed, just because i dont want to go any longer without logging miles.

as for my weight this morning, it was better than expected. after camping i had gained several pounds (mostly from all the salty chips i ate) but this morning i was at 168.4 pounds.  no matter what i do, i seem to be holding steady to that. i have started getting into a morning routine with all the kids, and i am slowly adding to that my other responsibilities. i am never going to enjoy doing the dishes, or folding laundry, but i can enjoy the neat and clean space i get to live in when those things are finished. along those same lines, jason and i have figured out a simple running routine that allows us to take a long run together on sundays. im looking forward to those too.

that about covers it for this week, its been a bit of a quiet one with me not feeling well, but no real complaints.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

two long weeks!

8/9 thursday 1.25 mile walk, train like a mother weight training circuit
8/10 friday shred it with weights
8/11 saturday 3.25 mile run in 36 minutes
8/12 sunday off (packing for a trip home with mom and the kids)
8/13 monday off (driving home 11 hours with mom and the kids)
8/14 tuesday 2 mile walk to evergreen park and back
8/15 wednesday playing at the park with the kids, loads of painting at moms house

wednesday weight 8/15 168 pounds

8/16 thursday painting
8/17 friday painting (mom and i painted the entire downstairs of the house. living, diing, kitchen, and hall, all the way up the stairs. also, all the trim around doors and windows, and all the doors. in three days, usually between the hours of 6pm and 2am. it was a long three days, but we got it done. that also included a ton of getting rid of things, and rearranging and removing furniture.)
8/18 saturday 2 mile walk to the park and back (family reunion! there was a great group of family this year, and the kids had a lot of fun.)
8/19 sunday running at the ocean! we met up with ashley and all her boys (dan included!) and went to heceta. we ran, jumped, laughed until we froze.
8/20 monday off (drive back to idaho with jason and the kids)
8/21 tuesday 4 mile run to the church and back so jason could help move furniture in the nursery.
8/22 wednesday 4 mile run to preschool and back

wednesday weight 8/22 168.8 pounds

it was a really big two weeks, though summarized as it is above it doesnt really feel that big. i am 8 days out now from real half marathon training, and thats why ive started easing myself back into it as soon as we got home monday night. i also started watching the boys and chauffeuring to preschool and back this week. so far so good there.  today i am finishing up dishes and laundry from this week (and finishing unpacking for the kids) just in time to pack up a smaller bag for the whole family as we have decided to squeeze in an overnight camping trip friday night.  im not sure where we will go thats not on fire, but we will find somewhere that the kids can get dirty and play.

and thats the last two weeks i guess! whew, its been full.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

16.5 miles this week

last week i weighed 168.8 pounds and today i weigh 169.2 pounds.

and ive put in some miles this week. 
thursday 8/2 we ran a 5k in 35 minutes and finished up for an even 3.5 miles.
friday off
saturday 8/4 5 miles up hill! both ways! (kidding.) we ran up iowa two miles, which means running up the hill to get to the lake. it was tough, but i also really enjoyed it. it was in the 8pm hour so the day was cooling off and after dealing with a broken irrigation main early in the day it was nice to just run for a while.
sunday/monday off
tuesday 8/7 i did 3 miles on the treadmill while on skype with katie.  kids have been running wild this week (probably not as much as i think, i just keep staying up too late watching the olympics, so ive got shorter patience in the morning.) and i really needed to just get some miles in. so there they are.
and today, after an incredibly full (but good!) day of errands i found myself still in boise at 5pm and headed to jasons office for a run. he couldnt leave work yet, so i went on without him. we met up at the fish park (fish and games animal park, im not sure what its called, but the kids love it.) neither of us were feeling a run, so we walked out 5ish miles out and back, then to dinner. he had to go back to work when we were finished at 830, and i had to assemble georgies crib and get the kids to bed once i got home. it made for a long, long day.

Friday, August 3, 2012

treadmill wall

its been a great week for mail, and there is still more to come! (this is what happens when i shop. i finally find the best deal, and its online, so i have to wait for things to arrive.) but- todays mail was extra nice.

i dont decorate. im just generally bad at it. it isnt something that i think of to do. (kind of like putting dishes straight into the dishwasher. great idea huh? never think of it when they are in my hands.) but i decided my treadmill wall, the little two foot jut that our dining room (where the treadmill lives) sticks out from the rest of the house, needed something pretty.

its bright and cheery and motivating. the two 5x7s are scripture verses.

and the others are just pretty.  so, thats my new treadmill wall.  its nice to have something to look at now instead of just the most recent pile of laundry that needs folded, or dishes that need washed, or kids fighting.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


(2 miles for tuesday, finishing july with 88.55 miles.)

i slept late, rushed the kids through the shower and off to school. then georgie and i headed into boise to see heidi and squish on her sweet new baby.  but not before i drive into the wrong side of town, and ran a stop sign (for the first time since i was hit and ticketed 4 years ago running one. yikes.) then baby baby baby for the next hour. hes adorable.

from there i met jason for a quick run. he had a meeting scheduled for 2 so we needed to be fast. we finished 3.8 miles in time for him to eat lunch and shower before his meeting.

my lunch was late and quick at home while georgie napped, then picked up emma from school with slushies from sonic and we all headed out for groceries. back at home i made dinner (scrambled eggs, toast, yogurt, watermelon) for the kids, then we made peanut butter chocolate chip cookies together and did jammies, songs, stories and prayer and bed.

it was a kind of typical day, with ups and downs all over, but i really did enjoy it. it felt full and nice, and happy.  i like that kind of a day. in fact, i would take another one just like it.

with that perspective, the 0.4 pounds i am up this week doesnt even seem to matter. last week i weighed 168.4, and this morning i weigh 168.8 pounds.  im not concerned. what am i shooting for? more miles in august.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

july miles and a new race, or two.

the last week has been a hard one. but, i managed some miles.

wednesday, 2 miles
thursday, 2.75 on the treadmill, 5 in boise with jason
friday, 2 miles on the treadmill (while watching the opening ceremonies)
saturday, 3 miles (up and down the run trail at jasons race)
sunday, off. i havent taken an off day for more than a week. it was nice.
monday, 4 miles with jason. he came home earlier so that we could run together. its hot out still, but was nice to hang out for a while.

and today is the last day of july. feels weird for july to be over. but- its been a long month. i have put in 86.55 miles so far this month. and whatever i do today. thats a big month.

august is my last month to run as i please without a long run requirement before i officially begin training for another race. two races actually.  i plan to run the new years eve and new years day (thats last years webpage) half marathons with brazen racing while we are in california for christmas. i had such a good time racing with them last august that when i started thinking about a new goal it just made sense to check out what they had to offer in the next few months. i proposed the idea to jason, it took him about two minutes to say he was in.  in september i start running longer (and hopefully outside) to prepare.

its nice to have a new goal to shoot for, and mentally, i am glad to have the extra time to get used to the idea.

Thursday, July 26, 2012


tuesday july 24, add two more miles. 

wednesday- vomit in my bed is just not the way i like to start a day. (and a whole day later, im washing my 5th load of sheets that have been peed on by the vomiter. im exhausted.) i did weigh, and i weighed 168.4 pounds. thats a 0.4 pound gain last week, and puts me at 1/2/21.  im behind.

(*aside: i am considering that this, while in the appropriate bmi, may not be the most acurate of long term goal weights for me. with that in mind, i do still have extra weight that i put back on, so i plan to continue with my goal, and just see where it takes me. im not off the hook to stay where i am, but i will not feel let down if i am short at the end as long as ive put in the work.)
after an eventful day, and a pampered chef party with friends, i put in two miles walking on the treadmill last night.

wednesday july 25, 2 miles.

today has been just as much and sometimes more exhausting and i still having put in any time. i want to curl up and sleep. i want to scream out of frustration. i am just so done. but the day isnt over, and ill get it in.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

20 miles last week

way behind on posting work outs, so heres a weeks worth of catching up.

tuesday july 17, 3.5 miles as .25 mile warm up, 3 miles @ 11:30 pace, .25 mile cool down

wednesday july 18, 3.5 miles as 10 min warm up, 8x1 hill repeats @ 4-6% incline, 8-10 minute pace, finish with strides and cool down 49:33

thursday/friday off

saturday july 21 1 mile walk, 3 mile run, 3 mile walk in boise with jason and the kids.  two days off was too many before a long run and combined with the heat i just wasnt ready.

sunday july 22, 2 mile walk late in the evening because i needed to get it in.

monday july 23,  2 miles as 400 at tempo, 200 rest, then 2.25 easy miles to finish
i found when i finished this one that the speed work is helping.  i felt like it was easier to run a faster pace for those last two miles than it would have been last week. also, a .25 mile rest in those last 2.25 i used for walking while doing some upper body weights. 

tuesday july 24, i FINALLY got out my jillian, shred it with weights dvd. (which amazon tells me i purchased june 8 of last year. thanks amazon, i didnt really want to know exactally how long ive not been using it.) i substituted a 5 pound dumbell for the kettlebell and still really enjoyed it.  im sure a heavier kettlebell would have caused me to sweat more, but for now, im just glad i finally opened the dvd.  its quick, challenging to my brain (how am i supposed to do that?) and weights! i may run some more tonight. probably. so thats how the week has been.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


last week i weighed 169.4 pounds, and this morning i weigh 168.  a loss of 1.4 pounds for a week of hard work.
(also, that puts me .4 pounds ahead: 1.4 pounds, week 1 of 21)

as i was falling asleep last night i chatted to jason about a modified training plan that i have been thinking about.  i just about have it figured out, then i will share.  until then the runs are just going to seem all over the place.  i havent figured out a good rest day yet.  i think i might need to choose two that can swing, like rest day is saturday, unless jason and i run together, then it will be monday (because we almost always run together on sunday, which i love.) something like that.  once those kinks are out, i will have a plan to take me all the way into next year.

i know its a little weird, but i am actually excited to face jasons last semester of school next month.  why?  because his schedule no longer dictates my ability to run. its great. i feel like its a challenge, how well can i do this semester with a treadmill compared to how awful spring semester was?  its not even a fair competition.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

make that seven.

i made a deal with myself yesterday that i just needed to get the miles in, and then i would take a nap sans guilt. i made a quick blueberry smoothie and had a bit before my run, then put the rest in the fridge for after.  it was just over 4 miles before i felt like i was enjoying myself.  that is far too long. but, at that point i picked up my pace a little more and finished 6.2 miles.  i walked one more to cool off (and finish extreme makeover, weight loss edition on hulu).  i am so glad its done.  im only a little stiff this morning, and in a few hours when the kids are in bed, ill hop back on for a few more miles.

Monday, July 16, 2012

thursday the 12th jason and i ran 5 miles on the greenbelt in boise in 103 degree heat.

friday, 3.25 on the treadmill

saturday, my first and only rest day of the week. also, my 2 year mark.

sunday the 15th, 3.15 miles to redbox and back for movies. 

and today im on for 6, but after staying up till 2am and forgetting my allergy eye drops before i put my contacts in, i really just want to sleep. my eyes are exhausted and i am

but, six it will be.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

HIIT/ speedwork

i am trying some new running techniques out on my treadmill. yesterday i did a warm up 11-12 minute mile, then .25 mile intervals of sprinting and walking/easy running for two more miles.  then after i picked emma up from school and had the kids eating dinner i did two more miles at a 10 minute pace with .25 mile intervals of 7:30-8 minute pace. 

i have an irrational fear of turning up the speed on the treadmill.  i know exactly how fast it is, and my brain says "but you cant run that fast" and it just freaks me out a bit.  it felt really good to be able to see a difference even in the same day of easy running at a faster pace, and less fear when i turned up the speed. 

i finished up with a total of 5.25 miles for yesterday.

on an unrelated note- where are all the cute bermuda length compression shorts?  do they exist?  i want some.  i get that black matches everything, and its slimming, and blah blah blah. thats why i have three pairs of black leggings.  i want cute shorts!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

catch up and an anniversary goal

looks like i covered june at least. so how about the last 11 days?

july 1 was the race, so got that.

july 3rd i drove the kids to cascade (look at that, being all adventurous...) to gregg and ginas cabin.  im counting a 1 mile walk around the beach and docks.

july 4th, same 1 mile walk.  and the kids caught fish! it was a nice little 24 hour getaway.

thursday july 5th, i totaled 6 miles on the treadmill.  i hopped on it three different times during the day to get it in, but thats the beauty.  i CAN break it up into whatever time i have.

sunday july 8, 2.6 mile walk

monday july 9, 4 mile run. RUN. the whole thing. no walking. it felt easy and good.  also, the first 5k was ten minutes faster than the 5k we ran on the 1st in the heat. and we RAN all of that one too.

tuesday july 10, 4 mile walk chatting with jason about the day at 10pm. it was a get-it-in workout.

and that makes today wednesday.  i didnt weigh last week because i was in cascade and gave myself a pass, but this morning i did, and i am at 169.4 pounds.  thats 0.4 down from two weeks ago.

one more thing.
saturday is july 14th.
its been nearly two years since i started out on my second try.  this year had more bumps than last, with 16 weeks of jason working nearly full time and taking 16 incredibly difficult credits. those weeks included a 15 pound weight gain for me while i stressed and ate my way through it.  it was hard. painful. more than once i felt like i was at the beginning again. but im not. i SURVIVED those 16 weeks, and now im doing what i need to do to lose it again.

jason finishes school in december.  thats the month ive been looking towards for almost two years because thats when we decided we would try for another baby.  my heart races just thinking about it.  ive known with certainty when the time was right to try for emma and for georgie.  emma was my prayer baby.  i prayed for her for 2 years before she was finally concieved.  and georgie was my praise. my heart was heavy that it was time to have another and i was able to praise God the first month we tried.  i knew the wait would be long this time, and i was in no rush.  God has been faithful to make it clear to me when its time, and as december nears i have noticed my desire grow.  its still 5 months away, but God is nesting a place in my heart for another.

so- as he prepares my heart, i want to prepare my body.  i am setting a new goal.  an old goal. 21 weeks for 21 pounds.  december 5 jason will be finishing finals and i plan to hit my goal just in time to get pregnant again. so there it is.

Monday, July 2, 2012

a strong finish

i managed the month of june, hitting 5 days a week with purposeful movement. 

thursday: one mile walk, late, to get something in.

friday: 2.5 miles on a treadmil at the gym while emma was at school, and 5 minutes on the stair master.

saturday: 1.5 mile walk, late, and on my very own treadmill in my dining room while chatting with jason about his weekend fishing trip and my day with the kids. a perfect finish for the month.

i totaled 62.68 miles for the month.  i feel like i had a successful challenge.

that work was put to the test at 5pm last night when jason and i ran a 5k to support friends of ours who are adopting a sweet boy from ethiopia.  it was the kids very first race, where they earned shirts and bibs and ran through the finish all on their own. 

emma and georgie ran around the pond a second time to finish again.  i think they enjoyed it. (and if georgie doesnt look it, its because he took a swim in the pond a minute before this family photo was taken.)

now on to july.  im looking forward to the 14th.  two years is coming up quick!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

a treadmill

we are doing this thing, called life, and trying to fit all the pieces together into this neat little picket fence that looks a lot more like an old repaired farm fence than a freshly white washed suburban one. 

new schedules, different responsibilities, more kids, less kids, early mornings, late nights, double stroller, single stroller, summer preschool, new renters, loan brokers, refinance, denial, cash budget, over-time, mens retreat, baby showers, lots of deep breaths.

its just not coming together.  rather than keep smashing it all in, im making an edit.  i spent all of yesterday searching for a treadmill online.  i found 6 worth the asking price, and then asked if they would take less.  so far, 2 are sold, and im waiting on a model number from another so i can look it up. 

running while inside my house eliminates the problem of early mornings, late nights, double stroller, single stroller, mens retreat, overtime, more kids... well, about half of the things that have been a hindrance.

i know it doesnt solve all my problems, but it puts all the responsibility on me, and takes most of it off of jason.  and right now, anything i can do to help, will help.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

my weight is unchanged.  ive had a lot of chocolate this week. 169.8 pounds.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

now i know

i know why i gained 15 pounds when jason was in school last semester.  hes been home before 7 pretty much every night since school let up, until tonight. and tonight i just want to eat.  problem solved.

Monday, June 25, 2012

17 miles

wednesday: after that long never ending morning, jason and i put in 3.8 miles with the kids before bed.

thursday: i trekked kids into the zoo again, and planned for a run.  we did 5 scorching hot 93 degree miles before a 3pm lunch of bad boys burgers and fries.

friday: off

saturday: 3 mile walk late around the neighborhood with the kids.  we put it off until the swing set was built, water toys had been played with, and the dirty little monkeys were hosed off and jammied for the night.

sunday: i put in 3 hot miles at 8pm, still 83 degrees.  my first at 9:15, faster than my fastest mile earlier this month.  i finished it in 31:38, so times improving.  now to work on my heart muscle and lung capacity so that my upper body can hold on as long as my legs.  my legs feel good! itching to go farther.  its the rest of me that just cant seem to keep up.  also, 80s is too hot to be out running. just too hot.

monday (thats today): i did a vbs drop off and loaded georgie into the double to run around the rec center path at 9am.  my heart and mind werent in it, and while i pushed out a half mile, i opted to walk the rest and finished up at 2.25 miles. im not sure if its was the third day on, the new schedule of kid pick up/drop off/pick up/drop off/pick up again or what.  but i wasnt feeling it.  or maybe the half flat tire on the double. anyways, i need to figure it out. i want to even. 

thats 17.13 miles in 6 days, and even though its not what i hoped for, its enough.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

a good wedensday

1.6 pounds!

when i first looked back at last week to see what i weighed, i though hey- not bad, i lost almost a whole pound this week! then i did an immediate double take and used a calculator (yes, for simple math, sometimes you just want to be SURE.) and wait a second! 171.4 down to 169.8 is 1.6 pounds lost.  thats the best news ive had today.

today started like this:
3am emma pats my face and says mommy, i went potty.  i went pee pee in my bed.  i gather my wits and check the time and remember that i didnt get her up to potty when i went to bed at ten and now im paying for it. 

i take her to the bathroom, she changes while i change sheets. (she does tell me "one time  when i was sleeping it just came out." so she was aware, but not enough to do anything about it.  i guess that progress.  and that it woke her up.

330am, sheets are in the wash, im back in bed unable to sleep.  i check my watch for the time, check the date and see its the 20th.  the caseworker gets back to his office today.  he listens to voice mail today.  so i pray for that boy and his sister and the man who will hear my week old message.

4am jasons alarm goes off

430am jasons alarm goes off

515am jasons still in bed.  i nudge him out and he mumbles something grumpy so i leave him be.

6am my alarm goes off.  im up to potty, switch laundry, check on jason who is still in bed.  he doesnt feel well.  he wimpers when i take the blankets.  he has a temperature. i go back to bed.

7am my alarm goes off.  jason considers getting out of bed, then finally does.  he sick, likely the flu, and going into work to share his germs.  emma is up and our day starts.

except that mine started at 3am with a pat on my face. 

1.6 pounds is a great loss, and dropping into the 160s is also pretty wonderful.  this kind of day needs a win.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

double stroller

running with a double stroller is hard work.  i am so grateful that jason pushes it when we go out together. 

i chose a warm bath and a book last night instead of a workout.  not the same endorphin rush, but just as much a mental boost.  but i made a deal with myself that if i took a rest day yesterday that i would definitely go early in the day today with the kids.  i put it off till after breakfast, and a load of dishes, and then i finally got dressed and everything together to take the kids in the double.

i ran up to the greenbelt so there would be shade and ducks to entertain the kids. i wanted to do five miles, but at the end of two i knew that would bee too much for my new stroller pushing arms and legs, so i turned back and finished at 3.75 miles in 46 minutes (and a .75 mile walk around the neighborhood).  its getting easier, but some times exercise is still just overwhelming.  coordinating times for meals, potty breaks, naps, bedtime, jason getting home from work, preschool pick up and drop off... it makes me want to just give up.  i know that having a set schedule makes it all easier, i just dont know what that looks like for me.  for now, it was a run at 11 am with two chatty kids in a double stroller.   

Monday, June 18, 2012

the weekend

saturday: jason and i built the swing set, all day, in the sun.  but because that doesnt "count" as a work out, we also took a mile walk as a family around the train tracks after dinner at messenger. 

sunday: a 2.5 mile run to redbox and back at a 10:30 pace.  it was hot hot.  93 degrees hot. 

and today, i lack motivation for anything.  its super windy and im not feeling like taking the kids in the stroller out for a run just to be pushed back by every gust.  i will likely choose jillian after i put the kids to bed.  because i know its the right thing to do.  jason wont be home till 9 or 10 as he is riding with dave after work today and they tend to go for at least an hour and a half.  right now im looking forward to thursday when im taking the kids to the zoo again, then going for a run and having lunch with jason at work. 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

tender feelings and jealousy

i an struggling this morning with tender feelings and jealousy.  i was surprised again to see a good friend running a 5k in boise this morning that i didnt know she was doing.  running has been hard.  i have little freedom when it comes to when i can run and while i have several friends who run, non of them are close or dealing with the time constraints that i am.  jason has been really good (especially in comparison to last sememster) about being home in the evenings so that i can run, but running in that heat and after a full day is so hard on me physically and mentally.  it becomes a chore and i dont enjoy it.  i would love the encouragement and time with a friend to do a race together, i know there are oodles of them in this area right now.  it happens.  i know that.  im just feeling a little bit excluded.

last night i did 3 miles with weights on my walking dvd.  the point of the amr challenge is to make a concentrated effort to get the exercize in.  so while i had already been out taking care of weeds at the lots, and taking care of the garden here, i made the extra effort to set aside time specifically for exercize. 

also, i do have a race of sorts coming up.  friends of ours are adopting a little boy from etheopia and are running a 5k fundraiser on the july first.  they are calling in the krohn family comassion 5k and participants of all ages are free to walk, bike, run, whatever they want to do.  i am excited to support them and hear about their trip to meet nahome earlier this month. 

but right now, im still just a little bummed. 

Friday, June 15, 2012

Romans 12

wow.  romans chapter 12 might be my new favorite passage of scripture.  i started out ready to share just verses 1 and 2, but as i continued to read theres just so much more! so here are the first couple, and a link to go read the rest of the chapter. 

Romans 12:1-2
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

thats just what i needed this morning.  its one of the verses that changed the way i think about my body nearly two years ago and it still hits tender spots in my heart.  
also, ive been looking for a memory verse for emma, and i found it.  
Romans 12:10 
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

i think thats what she needs to hear right now.  :) 

last night i kept the kids up so jason and i could take them for a run.  he was late getting home because hed run an errand for me, so the kids and i took off without him and made him catch up.  we ran 3 and walked a 4th so he could hit all 5 points for the day.  its going to be tough but he can still hit 1500 for the year if he has 5 points almost every day.  

it was a good day yesterday. 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

2 miles

jason made time last night for me to run without a stroller after he got home.  too bad i had just finished dinner.  i went out anyways, knowing it would be a short run, and did a mile around the block.  my fastest in months, i ran a 9:35.  i also really wanted to throw up and kept thinking of amr's tmi tuesday post on facebook about where to vomit if the need arises.  not exactly distracting.  i finished up with one more loop and called it good. 

figuring out just the right schedule for everything is really hard.  i have finally found meal times that work best for the kids and i so that i am not working as a short order cook all day long, and now dinner conflicts with my run timing.  i know it will work out, its just time consuming to get the right schedule nailed down, and then making sure everyone sticks to it. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


my food choices have been spot on the last couple days.  it has been exhausting, but im doing well.  i have taken more days off than i expected from running, but for the most part it has been to do things like major furniture shuffles in the house and building a play set in the back yard.  not exactly sedentary things. 

while thats been fine, i havent seen any progress on the scale throughout the week and its been quite a bummer.  i stepped on this morning fully expecting to see a gain of some amount and was super surprised to see i weigh 171.4 pounds.  i had to check my log, but thats a loss of 0.6 for the week.  it was a nice surprise, and encouragement to keep at it. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

the weekend

thursday:  zoo with the kids.  what fun, and loads of walking.  then the park, a walk to coffee with heidi, and after that a walk to the swim area at lucky peak with jason.  and i made him run sprints with me on the way back to the car.  it was a really good day. (i mean, zoo, coffee, and dinner out in boise for 25$ is not a bad day!)

friday night: jason helped chaperone at the church open gym, so i left him with the kids and went to the real gym.  i had a horrible mile in the treadmill, and finished it up with another mile on the elliptical.

saturday: farmers market, rain and cold.

sunday: we did lawn care in the afternoon, so i hoed the garden and pulled weeds for an hour or so, then emma helped me give jack a bath.  it was outdoor evening service at church, so jason and i ran the kids in and pick-nicked at church for dinner.  then another run home for 4 miles total at an 11:30 average pace. my calf/shin has been hurting this week, so im nervous on runs.  i babied it a lot last night.  im hoping its just shin splints in a different place than i remember. 

so there it is, an active weekend. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

stay the course.

june 5, 2.88 miles (a trip to walmart and back for jasons rx and some apples.  and tape! i remembered the tape!) at a 10 minute pace!

i was nervous this morning about my weight.  ive seen it bounce back and forth all week, and while i know that can happen at the beginning its still frustrating.  but- last week i weighed 173.4 pounds, and this morning i weigh 172.  a loss of 1.4 pounds.  that is just fine! im looking forward to the next few weeks as i see significant change.

i finished off acts a couple of days ago.  the middle of that book was a bit hard.  i dont really understand the significance or have interest in pauls travels back and forth.  i did really enjoy the ship wreck though.  so many things would be different if he hadnt asked for audience with caesar.  it was really interesting.  since then ive moved onto to romans (because its what pastor is preaching on now) and boy does it have a tough start.  paul gave some meaty words to the church in rome, and ive had to take my time to get through it.  ive enjoyed it, but its not what i expected either. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

self motivated!

i aired up the single jogger and georgie boy parked himself in it for an afternoon run.  that thing is a bear to push when youre used to a swivel front tire!  i remember how great it was compared to my regular double stroller when i first bought it, and while im still glad i have it, i am so spoiled by a swivel front. 

anyways, not the point.  i was self motivated and went at noon on a 2.75 mile run with georgie and while i walked about a half a mile throughout it, i did it in 12 minute miles!  (my first was in the 10s again too. well done me i say.) and because jason is running at work today, we will have our little evening to spend at home together tonight. 

amr challenge, june 4, 2.75 miles

Sunday, June 3, 2012

amr challenge update and a 6 week plan

this run at this pace: 12:36 min/mile average with a 10:38 to start and a 10:50 to finish, was a really fun run. 

jason and i took the kids out to nampas crowded greenbelt this evening and eeked five miles out of it.  its hot, i didnt get enough water throughout the day and we took off much faster than ive been running, but it was a nice run.  i would do it again in a couple hours if we could i had so much fun. 

other news, i asked how serious jason is about dropping ten more pounds as i have been mulling over the idea of taking on these twenty with some fierce sincerity.  ive got 6 weeks till i hit 2 years, and i would LOVE to be back down by then.  (also, my shorts i bought last summer would fit again!) so, i think i may tip his wishy washy in my favor and go all in for 6 weeks.  its a long time, a lot can happen if we hit it hard.  it also takes him all the way to the triathlon hes looking at running this year.  im giving a couple days for it to sink in before i make it official. 

june is looking like a good month. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

amr challenge update

june 1, rest day.  i like to begin any new routine with a rest day.  it just seems like a good way to start.  you can mess that up.

june 2, 5 mile walking video after an incredibly long day.  jason even joined in the laughing and dancing around our living room looking ridiculous with me. its late, but it was a nice end to a long day.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

its the end of may

tuesday, half mile walk around the neighborhood with all 4 kiddos

wednesday, half mile walk with the kids around the neighborhood.  emma rode her bike the whole way, georgie pushed his lawn mower most of it.

jason and i both needed to run yesterday, so i decided to drive into boise to run the greenbelt with him.  we both love to run there- its a bit of a bummer that we dont live closer to a nice greenbelt like that.  ours is so short here.  anyway, we did a 4.6 mile trail run along the river.  my endurance is improving, i took 3 one minute breaks to stretch out my tight hamstrings (still sore from pulling weeds monday) or walk, but otherwise ran the entire distance.  its great improvement.  next step is increasing speed. 

and, tomorrow is june which means another mother runners challenge begins.  i am filling out a calendar tonight.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


i spent a long night with a feverish little girl snoring beside me.  (note, i have a massive sun burn on my back, and i was forced to sleep on it because any time i tried to sleep on it in a gentler way, emma crowded around me untill i had to just lay back down on my back.)  when she demanded i "get up mommy!" at 710 this morning i stepped on the scale.  i weigh 173.4 pounds.  up 0.4 pounds since last week.  that is better than i expected. 

now we are off to grab groceries before we we settle in for a sick day with the little girl. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


i feel like i need to prep myself for a let down in the morning.  i have eaten well all week, but my weight has only bounced back and forth.  i know that i have had some redistribution (as jason called it yesterday) because i cinched my belt up to the smallest hole on sunday.  so we will just see what happens in the morning. 

our memorial weekend

saturdays run plans were canceled due to rain all day, and jasons need to work.  but we did spend the evening playing with landon and enjoying dinner with gabe and courtney. 

sunday evening we had a family dinner at aunt renees house to visit with a couple of her boys who were in town.  i convinced jason that since we were already in boise we should just drive in a little farther and run the green belt.  we had a fun 5 miles, inturupted by lots of potty breaks.  i had too much water to drink all afternoon and had to go before we left renees, as soon as we got to the park, and again 15 minutes later. whew. i wasnt even thirsty when we finished.

yesterday we did yard work (sun burns and sore legs to prove it) and played.  jason built my swing, so its FIXED! and i cleaned up all the weeds in jack kennel and trimmed the roses.  kids played in the water and painted bird houses.  the whole thing was really a lovely day.

Friday, May 25, 2012

some days are just harder than others for no reason at all

i had a rough day yesterday.  everything i did was a challenge.  i was in a poor mood when jason got home just after 7 and we headed out for a run.  we did a total of 4 miles, but a half mile was walking around the playground while the kids climbed and played. (i cant wait till our play set arrives- the begging cries for the park can be answered with "go outside!")

4 is 4 though, and im glad its in. i am watching the boys this evening so jesse and sarah can go to a graduation, so no run this evening.  not that i would go in this downpour anyway.  maybe ill visit the gym after jason gets home.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

AMR Challenge- im in.

the ladies over at another mother runner have offered up a challenge for the month of june.  head over, grab a calendar and fill it out.  do the work outs, send them a picture of it completed and check into their new forum, then they will send you a cute little amr bumper sticker.

encouragement for the month of june?  accountability to get in the work?  a reward for doing what im supposed to do anyways?  yes please!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

squeezing it in wherever i can

did you know it takes ten laps around the play area at the park to equal half a mile? 

now you do.

and so do i.

the pay off

jason and i ran 4 long slow miles last night in sprinkling rain with the kids.  ive been working on my endurance and weeding out breaks on our last few runs and managed this one with just two short walks.  it was way harder than it used to be, but ill get there again.  and after i was finished i felt like i have a manageable goal. 

this morning i stepped on the scale.  i was nervous for the first time in weeks.  i weigh 172.4 pounds.  thats down 6 pounds from last weekend.  my clothes fit better today.  im feeling optimistic that i could be back to the 160s next week. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

vacation recap, wednesday, and the plan

i updated about last saturday, but there is still a lot to fill in from the 10 or so days since then.

sunday we churched and rested at home, along with packing a separate bag for disneyland and for the kids while we would be gone.

monday we got up at 4 and drove to anaheim.  we checked in at the hotel and walked in to california adventure at 1230pm.  and we walked and walked and walked.  we also ate a lot of deliciously terrible food.  and some huge 2$ apples.  and more terrible food. it was wonderful.

tuesday we got into the park an hour early, and walked. and walked.  (i am actually really glad we did so much back and forth wandering, or i would have gained more weight than i did over the week.)

wednesday morning we checked out of our hotel and headed back to disney land for our last day.  we did all our shopping, some last rides, and stayed in the park till just before the parade at 7.  then another long drive back to pittsburg and we were home around 2am.  i did not weigh myself.

thursday we walked to starbucks and to grandpa georges house for a visit, then home again.  (2.5 miles)

friday we hung out at home to recover from our busy week.  i convinced jason to pull some weeds in his parents back yard, and i helped the kids tie dye some shirts after dinner.  at bath time for the kids i finally weighed myself.  i weighed 178.4 pounds.  it was awful.  i told jason i wanted to get in another run on saturday and that we would need to get a schedule down and a plan on the drive home sunday. that weight was unacceptable.

saturday after breakfast we drove to grandpa georges house and the whole family walked the duck pond together.  we had a lot of fun seeing the baby ducks, loads of turtles and feeding all of them.  when that was over, we fed the kids lunch and jason and i left for a run while they napped.  we did hill repeats and totaled about 2.25 miles.  we all went out to chilis for dinner, and after dinner went for a walk around the neighborhood.  larry, joshua and mark rode bikes, reaann, emma and georgie were strollered and the rest of us walked.  we were out for about 45 minutes at a pretty quick pace.  it was a really nice walk.

sunday after church we stayed for lunch then headed back to idaho.  it took us 11.5 hours, as usual, so we got home at 2:30am.

and that brings me to yesterday.  monday morning we all caught up on a little bit of sleep.  jason didnt go to work till 8, the kids slept till nine (!) and i was able to sneak out some extra rest on the couch till 830.  it was so nice. emma went to school while gerogie and i grocery shopped and put away laundry from our trip.  jason was home in time for dinner (! again.) and made it to the last small group of the summer (!!).  its so nice out in the evenings, and the kids are used to being up late anyways that when we got home from small group at 830 we took the kids for a three mile run around the neighborhood. it was hard.

i have been trying to figure out a new approach to getting in my bible study, exercise, and nutritious eating because what ive been doing the last 6 months is clearly not working.  on our run last night while i was talking at jason i realized that last time i started running outside i already had a solid base of good health from working out in the gym and i eased into it on a treadmill for two weeks.  this time around ive had a solid 16 weeks without any regularity and now ive just jumped into outdoor running.  its a whole different story than last time.  i need to be aware of that, and adjust my ideas and goals accordingly. 

i have written out a new plan to follow, and meal plans for jason and i as well.  (he gained more than ten pounds in the last two weeks.) so far so good, as i weighed myself last night (and this morning) and am now at 173.4 pounds.  thats only 2 pounds over in the last two weeks, and i feel like its much more manageable.  i did well yesterday keeping my meals in check, and so far so good today.  if it becomes more of an issue, ive already created a food journal to make myself acutely aware of the calories i am taking in.

in the coming couple of months, jason and i both have some goals to meet that i will detail a little later.  in many ways it feels like starting all over again, but i guess thats kind of the point.  as long as im willing, i can always give myself a second try.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

re: wednesday

i was packing.  but i did what i was supposed to and weighed myself.  i weighed 171 pounds on wednesday.  wednesday night i dug and planted across the back while jesse tilled for me, and thursday i planted in the garden.  friday i finished packing and we drove.  and drove.  and drove.  and saturday morning we got to california. 

and saturday morning i ran.  thats how i like to have a vacation.  jason and i ran for about 25 minutes around the neighborhood at 8am. we took the kids to the zoo in the afternoon and walked the hills of oakland zoo for 4 hours.  its been a good day.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

today stress releasing techniques

take a nap while the kids take a nap.
continue to nap while emma sits beside me on the bed and colors.
let Ronald mcdonald cook dinner, (and by dinner, i mean a mcflurry for me).
bring a book to read while the kids play.
go straight to the park from dinner so they can continue to play.
invite cousins, and their parents.
walk in the sunshine while being chased by giggling children.
put jammied kids to bed early.  really early. and bask in the silence that is sleeping children at 7pm.
i have not kept up my workout log for jasons health nuts program at work.  im back in mid march still.  so, as i update that log, i also need to add my run from yesterday here. 

i did 6 laps at the rec while some other girl was running away from me. we ran just a few steps apart at first, then she would go just around the corner, or about a quarter lap ahead of me and start to walk.  just before i would catch her walking, she started running again.  i think she might have been following c25k on her ipod, but the intervals werent regular.  it was pretty comical. then 5 minutes on the stair master and i finished out my 2nd mile around the track.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

and Then, we will be DONE.

i have held out so long.  so so long.  but the 37 hours (in three long, and one short day) last week, and the final two weeks of jasons semester and the final weeks of child care for me- have just blown up my stress level.  i am exhausted all the time, i am not sleeping well at night, i am munching on sweets and considering nachos as a meal more than once a week.  i weigh 172.4 this morning, another gain this week. and so much more than id like to weigh at this point. 

i feel out of control and this morning i could probably use a good cry and three separate padded rooms.  the kids are screaming (literally, screaming, all the time) and emma has started to hit.  we are all just done.

except that we wont be done for several more days.  i need to get through today, then next tuesday, wednesday and thursday.  and THEN, we will be DONE.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

the rec center was still there, waiting for me

jason got home at 550, and i left at 6 for the rec.  one podcast and three miles later, i am a happy girl. 
hey guess what?

im going to the gym.

im not sure i even remember how to get there.  or what to do once i arrive.  but im going.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

we laughed. it was perfect.

yesterday was a long day.  its been a long week. 28.5 hours keeping the boys in three days, and with tomorrow ill be at 37.5 in 4 days.  i havent had that long of a week in at least a year. and the kids are older now.  that doesnt make things easier.

at 5pm emma, georgie and i were in the car headed to boise to meet jason for birthday dinner before he met up with his senior design group for an evening of presentation practice. we walked to red robin and chanced getting caught in the rain on the way home. odds were not in our favor, as we had to walk the half mile back to the office in the rain. but it was a warm ans sweet rain.  i piggie backed emma, and jason had georgie.  we splashed in puddles and soaked our jeans.  we picked flowers from a blooming tree and put them in our hair.  we laughed. it was perfect.

here are the wet kids, back in jasons office.

and today we are exhausted.  the kids are all played out, and lack of sleep is taking its toll on me.  even when i have opportunity to get out and run (its a warm rain again today, and i have only my kids, so the double is an option) i am just worn out. it will definitely be an adjustment to get back to a regular work out when jasons home in the evenings, but im grateful for the summer evenings to do it in.  just a couple more weeks.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

in real life, you still have birthdays.

in real life, you have to work on your birthday. (i am 20.5 hours into this week, and its only 9am on wednesday.) you also have to do chores. (dishes are running, laundry folding will happen when the thunder hits this afternoon and i can no longer be outside.) and you have to weigh in. im at 171 pounds this morning.  i did well skipping the second diner between nine and ten pm, and eating a good breakfast, but lunch gets the short end when it comes to nutrition.  i had nachos twice yesterday.  its beautiful outside and i havent set aside time to plan out a good meal.

the upside to all of this?  its my birthday. and on my birthday i try to do something nice for someone else. im looking to fix a pair of pants for one of jasons coworkers, and id like to figure out a gift for someone but im just not sure about what yet. also, The Semester (tm) ends in just two and a half weeks. and by that i mean that we will be in california in 17 days, and alone at disneyland in 19.

we are pretending to celebrate my birthday on saturday, we will walk through the farmers market and have lunch from the bowl of soup fundraiser for a local potter who was pulled into his mixer earlier this year.  (breaks my heart.  a man who supports his family through his art was crushed by a piece of his machinery and the community he sells to has come together to help support him.  how could i not buy a bowl of soup?  lots of thanks to the potters who have thrown bowls and the restaurants who are donating the soup.  i hope the fundraiser has a big impact on this family. )

Saturday, April 21, 2012

sun shine and a vitamin d burn

i spent this beautiful day in the sun. more sun that a freckled girl should see.  i will be suffering from a vitamin d burn for the next several days. but oh how i love that vitamin d. soak it up.

i did 4 hours of squats kneeling in the yard over the flower bed not upright or resting on my heals.  my bum is killing me. i trimmed, weeded, dug, planted and watered the heck out of the front and it looks marginally better.  oh well.

jason came home early enough for dinner (YAY!) so we got to use our new (thank you steve and rachel!) grill for the first time. its so great. it gets hot! and then cooks your food in a timely manner!  the wonders of a bbq that is younger than i am.

after the full day of yard work, and water play for the kids, we took them for a bedtime stroll around the neighborhood a couple times.  at least two miles.  im counting that all as 5 points for today.  what a great day its been.

yesterday was hard

i did well at breakfast, lunch, a small snack and dinner, then the five miles and lack of sleep kicked in and i got hungry.  legitimately hungry, not just bored hungry.  so i ate my brussels sprouts and chorizo. and drank a glass of tea. 

i think if i had eaten dinner a little later, i wouldnt have been so hungry at 9pm.  im working on that today.  also, more liquids.  its going to be HOT outside the next couple days (and i cant wait!) so staying hydrated will be good for me in more ways than one.

Friday, April 20, 2012

one week of good choices

i decided silently last night to dedicate myself to one week of good choices.  (good, not just better than i have been doing.) so im deciding out loud today.

i did the math again, and found my bmr to be roughly 1600 calories.  that means that by eating 3 meals of 400 calories each im hitting 1200 and cutting 400 each day.  without extra exercise (which i actually feel more ready to do when im eating well, not the point though) i should see a loss of almost a pound.  add in exercise, for example, the five miles i walked with the kids to preschool and around the neighborhood this morning, and i will see a greater change.  im shooting for 3-5 points a day this week, its supposed to be super nice out, and that makes it much easier to just walk around the neighborhood with the kids.  3 laps, 3 points.  doable.

so with all that in mind, im shooting for a loss of about two pounds this week.  ive been loading up on the salt the last three days, so really, lots of what ill loose will be the water im retaining, but thats important too. 

i also talked to jason last night about setting up a regular time for me to go work out.  its in the plan for may, when we get back from vacation. 

ahhh, vacation.  we leave for california three weeks from today. three weeks! then this semester will be just a rough patch we struggled though, not the constant stress it is on our every thought now.  three weeks from today.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

almost finished.

i gained a couple pounds this week.  i weigh 171.6 pounds.  ive been just eating and not feeling well. 

two more weeks of lecture, then one week of finals and life can come back to normal. jason can eat dinner at home, he can sleep at home.  the kids will see their dad more than 3 times a week and saturdays will be a day off for me again. 

i cant wait for our trip to disney.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

i weigh 168 pounds this morning, and my legs are still sore from mondays preschool run.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

sunny days and preschool

i had a surprise free day without the boys yesterday, so georgie and i took advantage of the 70 degree overcast day and ran to preschool again.  i ran much slower than last wednesday, but because of that, i also ran nearly the whole there and back 4+ miles.  it really was a nice day, a good run, and fun to hang out with the kids clapping and chatting.

also, i should mention that to pass the time the next 4 weeks while jason finishes school, i have been sewing a disney land/california vacation wardrobe.  ive sewn 5 new shirts in the last week.  (and also a dress for me, and shorts, a dress and skirt for emma, and two shirts for my mom the week before.)

the other big project has been to get our house spring cleaned.  this is a big deal, because i struggle with keeping it clean in general.  its just not a priority for me.  ive done the play room and kids room all the way from swapping out beds to clothes in the dresser and sorting out toys.  the last three days i have been on the kitchen.  pantry and cupboards are next on the list and then laundry.  im waiting for a kid-less day to get deep into the floors, but it will all get done in the next four weeks.

Monday, April 9, 2012

I’m unwilling to put myself in a position where running has the potential to be associated with defeat or failure.

that title line comes from Dimity of Another Mother Runner.  she wrote concerning her lack of desire to ever run the boston marathon, but it so resonates with me this spring.  i dont run for time (which is why ive stopped recording it) and i dont run to win, i just do it because i want to.  and putting those pressures on myself makes me not want to run at all. 

so from here on out, i will be unwilling to put myself in a position where running has the potential to be accociated with defeat or failure. thanks dimity.

Friday, April 6, 2012

the new shoes

i used my shu's groupon while mom was in town over spring break to go pick up new running shoes.  my shoes from last year are still fine, ive got another 100 miles or so on them.  but new shoes are cheerful, good for training, and i would need them at the end of the summer anyways.  too bad mine are purple.

Brooks Pure Connect
i have worn them for several mile walks around the neighborhood and took them out for a first run on wednesday.  the weather held (! yes !) so georgie and i could run to pick up emma from school.  it was a good run, though the way home was tough.
 i did an out and back to preschool instead of a loop and the hills, headwind, 60 pounds of kids just killed me.  it was faster to walk several of the hills than to try to run them. 

but so far, i like the new shoes.  the merrell dash glove was my other favorite, and im really still not sure which one i liked better.  next year maybe ill go with the merrell.

Merrell Dash Glove

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

this morning i weigh 169 pounds.  i have had two great days of eating and actually want to run today.  now if only the sun shine and wind chill would get together on this, it might be possible.  (i just cant stand to take georgie out in the cold wind for a run.  im sure he owuld be fine, but i feel bad. im hoping it stays clear, and we can walk to pick up emma from school. and maybe run a little.)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

getting up to date

ive been putting this off since the 21st of march, and if i dont write it right now, im sure ill continue to think about doing it "later." whenever that is. so here goes. 

march 21 i weighed 168 pounds. thats back up from the week before, and after several really long days, i just didnt want to think about it. so i didnt write it down. (next time, i will just write it down. and by next time, i mean in the morning.) i also took the kids out for a mile walk. 

march 22 mile and a half walk 

march 23 3 miles with jason at a slow jogging pace 

march 26 3 more miles 

march 27 1 mile 

march 28 1 mile and i still weighed 168 pounds. 

this week has not been as active, and i dont expect my weight to change much. right now im working on my attitude, and looking forward to may, when i will have the luxury of choosing my own time to run. or whatever else i want to do for exercise.

Friday, March 16, 2012

i cant wait for this semester to be over. 6 more weeks of class. 6 more weeks. our lives are so interrupted by this full schedule its just overwhelming.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


last wednesday i weighed 167.8 pounds. this morning i weigh 166.2 pounds. thats 1.6 pounds gone this week.

i thought i would have more to say than that, but after sitting here for several minutes i guess i dont. im looking forward to the next week. (mostly because once it is over, spring break is here!)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

sunday monday tuesday

jason and i spent sunday pretending he is not in school. we did laundry together, watched two movies he has wanted to see for a long time, and snuggled on the couch till too late at night. it was really nice.

yesterday i took the kids out in the stroller for a mile (ish) jog around the neighborhood while jesse was here with the boys cleaning crayon off the play room wall.

today the kids and i stayed close to home except to go vote (and watching the news right now about the levys, i just want to say to people, if you voted no, thats great! but PLEASE, have a reason! just because you think they dont need it isnt an informed vote. its not looking good for a pass in nampa, so im pretty bummed. but we will see.) anyway, after voting we happy mealed and came home to finish watching robin hood. i put the kids to bed and did all the moves for the 30 day shred with longer intervals to make it a 30 minute work out instead of 20. so, i kind of did the shred.

tomorrow i weigh, and im kind of looking forward to it.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

hiking the foothills, not childs play.

its been a long and stressful day today. kids were cranky this morning, didnt nap this afternoon, and needed to go to bed early tonight.

jason stayed home long enough to pick up our basket this morning and to eat breakfast with us, then headed into work. i took the kids in at 3 to meet him and we hiked around the foothills for an hour and a half. i carried emma for more than an hour of it. we had a quick dinner together at taco del mar (love that place!) and i came home. hes using the quiet of the office, and availability of auto cad to get some home work finished.

i could really use that hour im loosing tonight to get some extra rest.

so sore!

we took full advantage of the beautiful day yesterday and walked to pick up emma from school. we stopped at school, then at albertsons to return movies and pick up snacks (string cheese and bananas) and walked home again. its a little more than 4 miles all together.

side story, in the tail end of the walk sometime we lost georgies hat and didnt notice till we got into the neighborhood again. so as soon as we got to the driveway we piled into the car to go look for it. and this time we found it! (we also lost georgies hat on a walk last summer in boise, one i had just made that day, but never found that one.)

Friday, March 9, 2012

rough patch

gah. ive been taking a fine tooth comb to the blog this week, looking for any little bit of explanation and necessary change and wow- what a rough patch its been the last two months. february, while the shortest month seems to be in the running to be the most difficult. i had already forgotten about the whole family spending two weeks sick. georgie got off antibiotics and emma went on them the same day. i was just out for five days with a cough and jason had the weekend version of the same thing as the rest of us were starting to feel better. is it any wonder why i gained weight? if i ate, i wanted comfort food, and i wanted it quick and easy. im sure i made a lot of pizza and sweets because carbs and sugar are my cravings when im sick. what a short memory i have.

i thought i had been battling weight from christmas, but i shed almost all of those 4 pounds in the first weeks of january. it was the weeks i didnt stay on top of logging activities and my weight, the weeks i was too overwhelmed to make sure i took care of myself that i saw a gain. i need to remember that.

check in

looking for a big (small) number this week, i am weighing every morning. this morning i am RIGHT ON TRACK. its great encouragement to keep it up.

also, watching the today show this morning i saw a new boy band, and because i am apparently a teen girl, i kind of love them.

edit: i forgot to add, yesterday i did the shred again, and took the kids out for a half mile walk.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

shoes, old posts, exercise, taking responsibility.

im considering minimalist shoes. ive heard a lot about them, and lately they are starting to look more like normal shoes (because looks are so important... ha.) reading another mother runner's post on merrell's new shoes got me thinking about the kind of shoes i wear in general. the description of zero drop soles fits my toms perfectly. and they are so comfortable because i dont feel like im wearing shoes at all.

isnt that the point of minimalist shoes?

i have a groupon for shu's that im going to use to replace my running shoes. mine arent dead yet, but i have a lot of miles on them and id like to continue to wear them for long walking days and workouts while i ease into a new pair. especially if that new pair is a minimalist one.

i spent some time last night (after taking a half hour nap with emma when i put her to bed) reading through the last year of posts and looking for some inspiration. i found several posts that either reminded me how far ive come, or resonated with where im at now, or kicked me in the butt to get my act together again.

when i am stressed, i do not get enough sleep. i dont eat well and i eat too much. i munch when im tired, and im always tired. i snack when im lonely and when im worn out from a busy day. because i eat poorly, and im lacking sleep, i have no energy. im not active enough and that just perpetuates the cycle.

i am trying to interrupt the cycle. im trying to do it as a single parent because jason is so swamped with work and school i feel like i cant ask him to come home in time for me to go to the gym. and by "in time" i mean by 9pm. the gym closes at 10. so what do i do? figure out another way. i mean, if this is important to me, and clearly IT IS, then i need to step up my responsibility and take care of myself.

i havent recorded any exercise for march, but i have been doing it.
march 3, 3.25 miles and 10 minutes on the stair master
march 4, 1.75 mile walk to the park with the kids
march 5, 1.5 mile walk around the neighborhood with all three boys, also several games of bowling and air hockey. (and i am sore from the bowling, so it totally counts.)
march 6, 30 day shred, level one

today is warmer again. i plan to walk the kids, and pop in the shred again. thats what i would have done a year ago.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

a lot of reflection

im stewing on some things today. in a good sort of way. i chose to turn my day around last night and after putting emma and georgie to bed (georgie chose to say thank you to jesus for emma last night. cutest thing in the entire world.) i changed and put in my jillian dvd. its been a long time since i did the 30 day shred.

when it was over (after several blips from my computer not working, and swapping it to the tv, and emma getting up) i really felt better. i kind of wanted to do it again.
i ended the evening with fresh hair color and a long bath. and a lot of reflection.

this morning i weigh 167.8 pounds. a loss, and lower than ive been in a couple months. i decided to delve back into my last year and see what i was doing last year that was working, and what i did in the winter (specifically since i gained over christmas) that isnt working. theres a lot there. and some really interesting things going on too. im not ready yet to try and articulate what im feeling. i want to sit on it a little while longer. but soon. ive got some more reading to do, and i need to start taking my own advice.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

long days

i am just feeling worn down. im tired, im eating really poorly, my patience is worn out, and im just tired. im tired.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

i missed logging a couple miles at the gym this weekend. i though i had written it down here and just not on my paper list, but it isnt either place. saturday feb 25th i pushed myself out the door and did two easy miles (run one walk one) at the rec center.

i was nervous, frustrated, worried when i weighed myself this morning. i have been so close to 170 all week without actually being there. i was relieved to see i weigh 168.6 pounds, down 0.2 from last week, this morning. not excited, but relieved.

i have taken to cleaning the kitchen this week. i started in the farthest corner and have worked my way out. today that meant tossing brand new boxes of girl scout cookies into the back of the pantry where i wont find them for a while. i am finding that when i spend more time thinking about and preparing my meals, i make better choices for them. i enjoy eating them, and dont gobble it up and over eat. and ive loaded extra fruits and veg into everything. (bell pepper in my sweet and sour chicken, grapes in my salad, kiwi mango and blackberries blended into my milk at lunch time...) gives me more to eat and keeps the fat and calories lower. time will tell if it pays off.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

wednesday weight, a day late

i did weigh myself yesterday, i just didnt get around to writing it down. i weigh 168.8 pounds. ugh. im bummed. but- i have to be proud of my time at the gym this week, 4.5 miles sunday, 2.5 miles tuesday, and then last night 2 miles, 5 minutes on the stairs and 10 minutes on the elliptical. my leg started to hurt as soon as i started to run last night, so i kept it short. i did a mile plus a lap to start and finished with walk one, run two, walk one after the stairs and elliptical. im taking today off from running to let those little tears heal before i rip them open again.

im trying to remain positive and watch for change, but i am struggling with it because ive been stuck here for a year. actually- im two pounds heavier than i was a year ago. i have seen a change in my size since then, which is great. but im still looking for that number.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

several runs lacking in special stregth

with tomorrow being wednesday and my weight needing recorded i decided to put in the time i needed on this post tonight. waiting till tomorrow would just make it that much longer.

(now, my big decision has been do i go in chronological order, or group like things together?)

jason worked on saturday, so i drove the kids in for a sack lunch dinner with him at the office. it was a long day (he got home at 11) but its just a part of the system right now to get through this semester.

we had nursery duty on sunday and played with just georgie and another little boy for the first hour. second hour we found out there was no sunday school and instead of going home, our class took up a table in the fellowship hall and caught up with one another. i told jason in the car on the way home that i was so glad we stayed for sunday school. it was a nice break.

at home we fed the kids and i headed to the gym for my first run in several weeks and set out a plan to keep it slow to prevent coughing. (i am feeling quite a bit better, but do still wheeze and cough.) walk 2 laps, run 3 for 4.5 miles. it was wonderful. i felt like a crazy person giggling to myself listening to another mother runner podcasts (the obgyn and beginner ones) as i ran around the rec. it was wonderful. i really loved all of it. it took me 57 minutes to go those 4.5 miles, but it was still wonderful.

i hit the track again tonight with more on my mind than sunday. this time i had amr q&a on my ipod and couldnt shake the trouble i am having managing my evenings. i am trying to figure out how to spend time with jason (when hes not doing homework. this usually lasts about 10 minutes after he gets home and before he settles down with his books.) and time for myself, reading or browsing the internet or sewing or whatever just for me, and also time at the gym. no, time at the gym does not count as time for me. i described this to jason this evening. the gym is a chore for me. i rank it above dishes, and folding laundry, but below washing laundry.

i have a lot more to say about bible study today, but its getting late. ill end with 1 Kings 18:45-46 45 And soon the sky was black with clouds. A heavy wind brought a terrific rainstorm, and Ahab left quickly for Jezreel. 46 Then the LORD gave special strength to Elijah. He tucked his cloak into his belt[a] and ran ahead of Ahab’s chariot all the way to the entrance of Jezreel.

i looked it up. that run was something between 15 and 25 miles. i cant find a consistent or reliable answer, but its looking like something more than a half marathon and less than a full, at chariot pace. elijah had been consistently faithful to the Lords will for years and had just seen a big win in the form of a small cloud. he ran. and the Lord gave him special strength. (other translations say the hand of the Lord was on him.) i needed this verse today in so many ways. some running related, some more spiritual. in the long run (ha.) im holding on to elijahs faithfulness, and Gods gift of special strength. thats what i need right now, and jason needs it ten fold.

Friday, February 17, 2012

i forgot to log jason and i took the kids to play at the park on sunday evening when it was so nice and warm (before the snow this week). two miles there and back, and a busy half hour of swinging, sliding, and climbing for all of us.

also, this morning my weight is a more reasonable 165.4 pounds.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

another rough week.

friday afternoon i started feeling a little crummy. sore throat, little coughing. then i relized i have been exhausted for several weeks. my body has clearly been trying to fight this bug off and i didnt even notice. well, it failed. by saturday i was full on sick. monday georgie came down with it too. his attitude does not improve when hes not feeling well, there has been a lot of scream-y crying here this week. yesterday (when i forgot to weigh myself i was so distracted) when i picked emma up from preschool they said she had started acting like she didnt feel well, and was doing a lot of coughing. i felt terrible. i try so hard not to take her when she is at all sick because i just dont want to share those germs, and its not like i have to take her, im not working out of the house or anything.

so as i pull into walmart to get some pedialite for my liquid food only children, georgie starts to wheeze. dr visit it is. a steriod and antibiotic for an ear infection later, he should start feeling better. emmas fever continued to climb. 103.6 when i checked her this morning. we had a long night with georgie waking up to scream at 4am, and emma having fever induced bad dreams ("wheres daddy? daddy, are you okay are you okay? daddy, are you okay?") from 1am-430am.

jason got up at 4, angry at his lack of sleep and even more stressed than when he went to bed at 11. he has a class at school that has him feeling like a failure. its an important class, group work, with a panel of 7 professors grading projects, papers, and presentations. the problem? all 7 profs have different expectations and none of them are making any of the expectations known to the students. they can be graded a 5/5 on professional dress by one prof, and a 1/5 by another. an 80% on their paper from one prof, and a 30% by another. and the professorship doesnt see a problem with this situation. the whole class has a high D or below, and they are telling the students this is "normal" at this point in the class. he is working so hard on it and just keeps getting knocked down. its wearing.

point: he needed the sleep, and he didnt get it.

point: we are sick, miserable and i weigh 168 this morning.

point: may cannot come soon enough.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

a gain and a loss

165.4 pounds this morning. this is a gain from last wednessday, but is a loss from monday morning (after enjoying a very snacky weekend) when i stepped on the scale and weighed 168.8 pounds. yikes. so ill take my 165 and make it better next week.

Monday, February 6, 2012


jason and i took the kids out for 4 miles of walking/jogging. it was so nice. as in, emma fell asleep in the stroller at 5pm and slept till 7 the next morning nice. nice.
a rough day with the kids. i left the moment jason got home for 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

back dated

lots of eating out and great coffees the last week, and they show on the scale. but, 164 pounds isnt bad.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

back dated

i missed posting for several weeks. family, busy schedules, lot of things going on. so, im back dating 2 weeks of wednesdays to keep them in the right places. i am weighing, i have even squeezed in a couple workouts. i just havent posted. so, january 25 i weighed 162.4 pounds.

Friday, January 20, 2012

georgie loves the play center

jason had a hectic night tonight and wont be home in time for me to go to the gym. we made some plans last night and decided i could just take georgie to the play center after i drop off emma at preschool. perfect. i did my 3 miles and it was fine. (i dont want to talk about the irritating man in yellow who ALWAYS passed me on the left, no matter what lane i was in or if i was running or walking, or if there were two full open lanes on my right and how i opted for a half mile on the treadmill because if his sweaty shirt flicked at me ONE MORE TIME i might loose it.) and i finished with 5 minutes on the stairs. done.

then when i went to pick up georgie, he didnt even want to talk to me. hed found cars and a train and i didnt exist.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

tonight i had a bunny

i set up to do my three miles around the track at the rec again tonight, and as i rounded to first corner and passed a few walkers i found another runner. a hispanic man, late fifties, holding a 9:45 pace. i considered passing him, but decided to hang back and i am so glad i did! he was my bunny tonight. i chased him for an extra half mile before i slowed to walk because i had so much fun. i wanted to thank him for pacing me, but in the next 4 laps i didnt see him. i thought maybe he had peeled off when i was on the other side. but i caught him! just shy of 3 miles i caught up to him walking and took a deep breath to get up some nerve.

you guys know, im not a fan of strangers. or even non strangers. i talk to close friends. im just a bit timid. but i pulled out my ear bud and said excuse me. i was greeted with a thick accent. i hope he understood. i told him i had been following him, and thanked him for keeping a pace, that because of him i was able to run a little farther than i have in a while. he grinned and said something about its okay, and just have fun! im so glad i caught up to him again.

i also finished my three miles six seconds faster than i did on tuesday. i ended with 3.5 miles on the track and 7:30 on the stair machine for a full five points tonight. i wanted to make jason proud.

i had a good time at the gym tonight, and i have a bunny to thank for it.

James, Mercy Triumphs, Beth Moore

this is the study we are doing at church right now. ive always been fond of james blunt writings. i know its early church context, but it feels easily applicable now. that appeals to me. beth digs when she teaches bible study, and gives home work. one of the questions asked last week was in the context of paul and james. they were called to bring the gospel to what seemed to be opposite ends of the world, james to the jews and paul to the gentiles. they had different views about the jewish law and how it ought to be kept (see acts 15) and the teachings focused in different areas. with that in mind, how do you think they got along? how do we get along with believers that dont share our every opinion? do we think the work of God is only accomplished when we are working with people who see it our way? we have all fallen and failed, we are all graced and forgiven.

i can think of several friends who belong to different denominations than i do, and who believe different details. it came up the night before i did this homework assignment in conversation with jason even. he and a coworker who is also a good friend were out on a run and talking about revelation and the rapture. his friend believes strongly that a pre-tribulation rapture ought to be taught even though we dont have scripture that tells us any detail about the rapture. his reasons are good too- no excuses from people who want to wait to change their hearts and lives until they "see it coming" from all the end times signs. its a good point, but i disagree. i think we ought to teach what the bible tells us and leave it at that. i think there is evidence that we may be called up before things get really rough here on earth, but im also not sure that we would really be aware that end times events were happening. our human nature is weak. we are so caught up in our own lives, even when those lives are serving God, that i think its possible we may overlook the larger significance of the destruction and plauges and distress that is prophesied. we give little thought to these things now, so i wouldnt be surprised if we miss the big ones later.

but thats not my point. my point is, jasons coworker and i dont see eye to eye. but i am SO thankful for him as a man of God to come alongside my husband in his day to day life and offer fellowship, accountability, and support through prayer. he is a precious jewel to me because of his heart for God. we do not have to agree on every point in our theology in order to function as a larger body of Christ. we do to need agree that our salvation comes from Him and not of our own doing, and have a yearning for the truth of the scripture and God will provide the rest. (matthew 7:7-8, james 1:5)

my insecurities wants to clarify all the above saying i hope its clear enough, or makes sense, or im sure many others could have said it better, but my homework from last week taught me comparisons like that are not a good use of my time and instead i ought to simply live my life in the spirit and do my part "in love and humility, variety and diversity." (mercy triumphs pg30)