a good wedensday

1.6 pounds!

when i first looked back at last week to see what i weighed, i though hey- not bad, i lost almost a whole pound this week! then i did an immediate double take and used a calculator (yes, for simple math, sometimes you just want to be SURE.) and wait a second! 171.4 down to 169.8 is 1.6 pounds lost.  thats the best news ive had today.

today started like this:
3am emma pats my face and says mommy, i went potty.  i went pee pee in my bed.  i gather my wits and check the time and remember that i didnt get her up to potty when i went to bed at ten and now im paying for it. 

i take her to the bathroom, she changes while i change sheets. (she does tell me "one time  when i was sleeping it just came out." so she was aware, but not enough to do anything about it.  i guess that progress.  and that it woke her up.

330am, sheets are in the wash, im back in bed unable to sleep.  i check my watch for the time, check the date and see its the 20th.  the caseworker gets back to his office today.  he listens to voice mail today.  so i pray for that boy and his sister and the man who will hear my week old message.

4am jasons alarm goes off

430am jasons alarm goes off

515am jasons still in bed.  i nudge him out and he mumbles something grumpy so i leave him be.

6am my alarm goes off.  im up to potty, switch laundry, check on jason who is still in bed.  he doesnt feel well.  he wimpers when i take the blankets.  he has a temperature. i go back to bed.

7am my alarm goes off.  jason considers getting out of bed, then finally does.  he sick, likely the flu, and going into work to share his germs.  emma is up and our day starts.

except that mine started at 3am with a pat on my face. 

1.6 pounds is a great loss, and dropping into the 160s is also pretty wonderful.  this kind of day needs a win.