things i want

i want a new life.
i want a place to vent and cry and get on to myself.
i want to make a change.

i want a second try.

i dont have the support i would like to make healthy changes in my life, so i am going to support myself here. i will find time to work out each day. i have to. i will let myself cry out these leftover pregnancy hormones and not be upset with myself for being human. i want to be happy, and healthy, and to enjoy the limited time i have with my family.

i miss having immediate family around right now. i wish one of our moms were here so they could keep the kids for me and i could have a little time for myself. it was easier to leave emma, but now i need someone to keep both of them for me. jason is going to have to step up to that plate even when george is fussy at night. i compromise, and i need him to do the same thing. it is what is better for both of us.

so today is the first day of my second try. i deserve a second try.