we are doing this thing, called life, and trying to fit all the pieces together into this neat little picket fence that looks a lot more like an old repaired farm fence than a freshly white washed suburban one.
new schedules, different responsibilities, more kids, less kids, early mornings, late nights, double stroller, single stroller, summer preschool, new renters, loan brokers, refinance, denial, cash budget, over-time, mens retreat, baby showers, lots of deep breaths.
its just not coming together. rather than keep smashing it all in, im making an edit. i spent all of yesterday searching for a treadmill online. i found 6 worth the asking price, and then asked if they would take less. so far, 2 are sold, and im waiting on a model number from another so i can look it up.
running while inside my house eliminates the problem of early mornings, late nights, double stroller, single stroller, mens retreat, overtime, more kids... well, about half of the things that have been a hindrance.
i know it doesnt solve all my problems, but it puts all the responsibility on me, and takes most of it off of jason. and right now, anything i can do to help, will help.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
now i know
i know why i gained 15 pounds when jason was in school last semester. hes been home before 7 pretty much every night since school let up, until tonight. and tonight i just want to eat. problem solved.
Monday, June 25, 2012
17 miles
wednesday: after that long never ending morning, jason and i put in 3.8 miles with the kids before bed.
thursday: i trekked kids into the zoo again, and planned for a run. we did 5 scorching hot 93 degree miles before a 3pm lunch of bad boys burgers and fries.
friday: off
saturday: 3 mile walk late around the neighborhood with the kids. we put it off until the swing set was built, water toys had been played with, and the dirty little monkeys were hosed off and jammied for the night.
sunday: i put in 3 hot miles at 8pm, still 83 degrees. my first at 9:15, faster than my fastest mile earlier this month. i finished it in 31:38, so times improving. now to work on my heart muscle and lung capacity so that my upper body can hold on as long as my legs. my legs feel good! itching to go farther. its the rest of me that just cant seem to keep up. also, 80s is too hot to be out running. just too hot.
monday (thats today): i did a vbs drop off and loaded georgie into the double to run around the rec center path at 9am. my heart and mind werent in it, and while i pushed out a half mile, i opted to walk the rest and finished up at 2.25 miles. im not sure if its was the third day on, the new schedule of kid pick up/drop off/pick up/drop off/pick up again or what. but i wasnt feeling it. or maybe the half flat tire on the double. anyways, i need to figure it out. i want to even.
thats 17.13 miles in 6 days, and even though its not what i hoped for, its enough.
thursday: i trekked kids into the zoo again, and planned for a run. we did 5 scorching hot 93 degree miles before a 3pm lunch of bad boys burgers and fries.
friday: off
saturday: 3 mile walk late around the neighborhood with the kids. we put it off until the swing set was built, water toys had been played with, and the dirty little monkeys were hosed off and jammied for the night.
sunday: i put in 3 hot miles at 8pm, still 83 degrees. my first at 9:15, faster than my fastest mile earlier this month. i finished it in 31:38, so times improving. now to work on my heart muscle and lung capacity so that my upper body can hold on as long as my legs. my legs feel good! itching to go farther. its the rest of me that just cant seem to keep up. also, 80s is too hot to be out running. just too hot.
monday (thats today): i did a vbs drop off and loaded georgie into the double to run around the rec center path at 9am. my heart and mind werent in it, and while i pushed out a half mile, i opted to walk the rest and finished up at 2.25 miles. im not sure if its was the third day on, the new schedule of kid pick up/drop off/pick up/drop off/pick up again or what. but i wasnt feeling it. or maybe the half flat tire on the double. anyways, i need to figure it out. i want to even.
thats 17.13 miles in 6 days, and even though its not what i hoped for, its enough.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
a good wedensday
1.6 pounds!
when i first looked back at last week to see what i weighed, i though hey- not bad, i lost almost a whole pound this week! then i did an immediate double take and used a calculator (yes, for simple math, sometimes you just want to be SURE.) and wait a second! 171.4 down to 169.8 is 1.6 pounds lost. thats the best news ive had today.
today started like this:
3am emma pats my face and says mommy, i went potty. i went pee pee in my bed. i gather my wits and check the time and remember that i didnt get her up to potty when i went to bed at ten and now im paying for it.
i take her to the bathroom, she changes while i change sheets. (she does tell me "one time when i was sleeping it just came out." so she was aware, but not enough to do anything about it. i guess that progress. and that it woke her up.
330am, sheets are in the wash, im back in bed unable to sleep. i check my watch for the time, check the date and see its the 20th. the caseworker gets back to his office today. he listens to voice mail today. so i pray for that boy and his sister and the man who will hear my week old message.
4am jasons alarm goes off
430am jasons alarm goes off
515am jasons still in bed. i nudge him out and he mumbles something grumpy so i leave him be.
6am my alarm goes off. im up to potty, switch laundry, check on jason who is still in bed. he doesnt feel well. he wimpers when i take the blankets. he has a temperature. i go back to bed.
7am my alarm goes off. jason considers getting out of bed, then finally does. he sick, likely the flu, and going into work to share his germs. emma is up and our day starts.
except that mine started at 3am with a pat on my face.
1.6 pounds is a great loss, and dropping into the 160s is also pretty wonderful. this kind of day needs a win.
when i first looked back at last week to see what i weighed, i though hey- not bad, i lost almost a whole pound this week! then i did an immediate double take and used a calculator (yes, for simple math, sometimes you just want to be SURE.) and wait a second! 171.4 down to 169.8 is 1.6 pounds lost. thats the best news ive had today.
today started like this:
3am emma pats my face and says mommy, i went potty. i went pee pee in my bed. i gather my wits and check the time and remember that i didnt get her up to potty when i went to bed at ten and now im paying for it.
i take her to the bathroom, she changes while i change sheets. (she does tell me "one time when i was sleeping it just came out." so she was aware, but not enough to do anything about it. i guess that progress. and that it woke her up.
330am, sheets are in the wash, im back in bed unable to sleep. i check my watch for the time, check the date and see its the 20th. the caseworker gets back to his office today. he listens to voice mail today. so i pray for that boy and his sister and the man who will hear my week old message.
4am jasons alarm goes off
430am jasons alarm goes off
515am jasons still in bed. i nudge him out and he mumbles something grumpy so i leave him be.
6am my alarm goes off. im up to potty, switch laundry, check on jason who is still in bed. he doesnt feel well. he wimpers when i take the blankets. he has a temperature. i go back to bed.
7am my alarm goes off. jason considers getting out of bed, then finally does. he sick, likely the flu, and going into work to share his germs. emma is up and our day starts.
except that mine started at 3am with a pat on my face.
1.6 pounds is a great loss, and dropping into the 160s is also pretty wonderful. this kind of day needs a win.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
double stroller
running with a double stroller is hard work. i am so grateful that jason pushes it when we go out together.
i chose a warm bath and a book last night instead of a workout. not the same endorphin rush, but just as much a mental boost. but i made a deal with myself that if i took a rest day yesterday that i would definitely go early in the day today with the kids. i put it off till after breakfast, and a load of dishes, and then i finally got dressed and everything together to take the kids in the double.
i ran up to the greenbelt so there would be shade and ducks to entertain the kids. i wanted to do five miles, but at the end of two i knew that would bee too much for my new stroller pushing arms and legs, so i turned back and finished at 3.75 miles in 46 minutes (and a .75 mile walk around the neighborhood). its getting easier, but some times exercise is still just overwhelming. coordinating times for meals, potty breaks, naps, bedtime, jason getting home from work, preschool pick up and drop off... it makes me want to just give up. i know that having a set schedule makes it all easier, i just dont know what that looks like for me. for now, it was a run at 11 am with two chatty kids in a double stroller.
i chose a warm bath and a book last night instead of a workout. not the same endorphin rush, but just as much a mental boost. but i made a deal with myself that if i took a rest day yesterday that i would definitely go early in the day today with the kids. i put it off till after breakfast, and a load of dishes, and then i finally got dressed and everything together to take the kids in the double.
i ran up to the greenbelt so there would be shade and ducks to entertain the kids. i wanted to do five miles, but at the end of two i knew that would bee too much for my new stroller pushing arms and legs, so i turned back and finished at 3.75 miles in 46 minutes (and a .75 mile walk around the neighborhood). its getting easier, but some times exercise is still just overwhelming. coordinating times for meals, potty breaks, naps, bedtime, jason getting home from work, preschool pick up and drop off... it makes me want to just give up. i know that having a set schedule makes it all easier, i just dont know what that looks like for me. for now, it was a run at 11 am with two chatty kids in a double stroller.
Monday, June 18, 2012
the weekend
saturday: jason and i built the swing set, all day, in the sun. but because that doesnt "count" as a work out, we also took a mile walk as a family around the train tracks after dinner at messenger.
sunday: a 2.5 mile run to redbox and back at a 10:30 pace. it was hot hot. 93 degrees hot.
and today, i lack motivation for anything. its super windy and im not feeling like taking the kids in the stroller out for a run just to be pushed back by every gust. i will likely choose jillian after i put the kids to bed. because i know its the right thing to do. jason wont be home till 9 or 10 as he is riding with dave after work today and they tend to go for at least an hour and a half. right now im looking forward to thursday when im taking the kids to the zoo again, then going for a run and having lunch with jason at work.
sunday: a 2.5 mile run to redbox and back at a 10:30 pace. it was hot hot. 93 degrees hot.
and today, i lack motivation for anything. its super windy and im not feeling like taking the kids in the stroller out for a run just to be pushed back by every gust. i will likely choose jillian after i put the kids to bed. because i know its the right thing to do. jason wont be home till 9 or 10 as he is riding with dave after work today and they tend to go for at least an hour and a half. right now im looking forward to thursday when im taking the kids to the zoo again, then going for a run and having lunch with jason at work.
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