what (was/am) i thinking?

it is ALL KATIES FAULT that im actually considering this.

i ran three and a half miles last night. (to be fair, i only actually ran 25 minutes of it.) it took me 47 minutes. (364 calories) and i am SO SORE ALL OVER MY WHOLE BODY TODAY. my neck hurts, my shoulders, my bicepts, my abs, my quads, even the bottoms of my feet ache (besides the blisters that i get EVERY TIME I RUN.)

before i commit, i need to run 5 miles, and i need to buy new socks. and maybe new shoes. you know, for the blisters. if i can get that far in the training plan, then i think i could do it. s l o w l y. but still, i could do it. (as in 12 minute mile slowly. as in, jason will finish, then come back and ill make him run the end with me again slowly. ;) just kidding. kind of.)

so, that might be a new goal to keep me on track through the summer. it also takes the focus off my number (which is not what i want it to be yet. ger.) on that note i guess, i am disappointed that i did not meet my goal in december, and its maybe a little more disappointing that i am not going to meet my birthday goal. i have 17 pounds to loose, and just under 4 weeks to do it. thats more than 4 pounds per week, and thats just too much. i need to be building muscle. maybe running will help with that. it is a weight bearing exercise, and i am sore today. (did i mention that already? because i am REALLY SORE for the first time in a long time.) so, i dont know. i have a lot of questions and need to make a few quick decisions.

so FRUSTRATING! i gained again this week. i now weigh 165. thats a gain of 0.6 pounds. march is feeling a lot like january did.

i know i could have made better choices earlier in the week, but i really did well for most of it. so im bummed.

a little competition

so last night jason and i did 15 sit ups each.
after my work out tonight (30 minutes 2.77 miles 351 calories) i came home and did 20 sit ups. he matched my 20, and did 5 more. so did i. he did 7 more. so did i. he did 8 more, so did i. (thats 40 sit ups.) then i told him he had to quit, i didnt want him to be too sore to do some with me tomorrow. :D

logging work outs

i have two work outs to log, one from last wednesday (eep. sorry thats so late. i thought i was forgetting something!) 20 minutes 1.78 miles 225 calories. after i finished on the elliptical i just wanted to run. so, i ran around the rec center parking lot, then drove home, and ran half mile around the block. it felt GOOD.

then tonight, i did 30 minutes 2.68 miles 336 calories at the gym and when i got home i ran again. i did three laps around the loop, which should total 1 mile with the home and back trip. i will check it though. but, i ran the whole thing. and i could have kept going. oh boy that felt nice. also, i did sit ups with jason tonight. 15 of them. i dont think id ever done sit ups before. it was actually kind of fun! (dont look at me like that.) so i think we will do that again, build some muscle where im burning all this fat. :)

it was a good night. (and potty training is going SO MUCH BETTER.)

the energy suck: potty training.

164.4 pounds. i gained 0.4 pounds this week. i have not been diligent about exercising and eating carefully. ive not made specifically poor choices, but these last pounds are just clinging on, and i need to be painfully aware of my actions to get them off. and its so hard. really.

(also, i am trying to potty train emma right now, and that just zaps my energy. i could have gone to the gym last night, and didnt because i just couldnt get up the energy to change my clothes and go. i need to prioritize, and make the time, knowing at the end of the week, it WILL pay off. i just have to push through the moment. thats what i need to remember this week, push through the moment.)

you are more than the choices that you make
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes

i love this song. will you tube it when i get home again.

its been two days now, and i still havent logged my workout. oops.

on thursday i asked jesse to keep the kids for me (because i knew jason had a late night ahead at work, i was feeling stressed, and we have busy weekends so i wanted to squeeze it in.) he was willing, and i went to the gym at 6pm. i dont have my phone close by, so ill have to edit the details later, but i did 30 minutes 2.something miles and 220ish calories. on the treadmill. i ran for the first 15 minutes, and it felt really good. i run funny, so my back aches afterward, but it is nice to be able to run. it takes a lot more effort than the elliptical does, because i have gotten used to the elliptical and can go pretty fast on it. i cant make the same time running. i am looking forward to running with the stroller again though. sunshine and pushing the kids to the park and back sounds really nice about now.

today is the day.

i needed a clean pair of pants. there were none in the closet. i saw my red mini skirt and though, "hmm, where are my dickies?"

i stepped into the loose legs, pulled the skinny waist over my hips, and then (this has always been the part where reality comes back) they buttoned. and zipped. and im comfortable.

I AM WEARING MY RED DICKIES. and for old times sake, im wearing them with a bright blue shirt, and i will put on my pink eye shadow whenever i finally get to comb my hair and brush my teeth today. thats what i wore on my first date with jason.

the dickies fit. do you hear me? they FIT. its a good day.

wednesday and weights

i was grumpy grumpy last night. i went to the gym anyways, just to get away from the house for a while. i had planned to do some sprints on the treadmill but there werent any open, so i headed for my elliptical. i did a little bit of interval training, switching between an 8/8 to an 11/11 and back, then to a 6/9 for a while to try and use some different muscle groups. i hope it worked, i am a little stiff this morning.
36 minutes 3.26 miles 415 calories

this morning i did not dread weighing myself. i have been checking my weight every other day or so to not be surprised today, and to help stay on track. last week i weighed 166.4 pounds, and this morning i weigh 164 pounds. thats a 2.4 pound loss.

i still have 16 pounds to get to my goal of 148 by the 25th. thats a little more than 3 pounds a week. its doable, but i know that i might not make it. with our busy schedules, i know i might not have the time to get to the gym, and that every bite i eat will determine if i get there or not. it feels strange to be so close though.

another thing i have been thinking about, is that i really want to gain some more muscle. i know that would have helped a long time ago to loose more fat, but i just dont know what im doing. i think that i would really benefit from a short routine several days a week, and ive asked jason if on a saturday, or evening sometime we could leave the kids and he could show me around the weight room at the rec. i would like for that to happen soon, but im not sure it will. i might have better luck trying to schedule a personal trainer session, though i hate meeting new people that way. its all on the table though. thats the next step for staying skinny.

choices part 2

i chose to eat dessert, so im choosing to workout. (i will reconsider dessert tomorrow. ugh.)

25 minutes 2.17 miles 275 calories

choices

i really really want to eat right now. but im not hungry, it is not meal time, and i will choose not to have a snack.

i just remembered i didnt post. i have a 0.2 pound loss for this week. im disappointed.

edit: i threw that one liner up last night via my phone when i remembered i had not yet recorded my weight. it seems every wednesday post is also being tagged a struggle post this month. in three weeks, ive lost 0.4 pounds. so discouraging.

but i know how to fix it. (and this is possibly the most discouraging part. i KNOW what im doing wrong and in three weeks, have not made the change.) i know that i am eating too many calories. i have chosen food for their warmth and ease and not for caloric value. there MUST be middle ground.

so this morning i am making that change. i ate my yogurt in a bowl with strawberries and some kashi go lean granola. this is more food than ive been eating in the mornings, but thats a good thing. it will keep my fuller into lunch, and people who eat a good breakfast usually take in fewer calories throughout the rest of the day. (see, i told you i KNOW this stuff. iv just not been putting it into practice like i should.)

also, i wanted to record a last workout. i DID get in my three last week. i went tuesday night and put in 35 minutes 3.14 miles 400 calories. so the goal stands for this week. work out three days. and ill get back to you with how i do making right food choices.

say yes to the dress

i love that show. something about watching a bunch of girls pick out their wedding dress makes the time at the gym go by so much faster.
42 minutes 3.78 miles 481 calories

im here. just walking, but at the gym anyways.

edit: i walked on the treadmill at an incline to make myself feel better about a lazy workout. i have cramps. the lay on the couch in misery and watch hulu all day kind of cramps. but i also have determination and will power.

35 minutes 2.02 miles 210 calories

grace

166.6 pounds.

i thought for sure i gained weight. i composed in my head in advance what i was going to say about all the garbage i ate (and absolutely enjoyed every bite of) this weekend while on our trip and how i could have made better choices even in the fast food restaurants we chose, but didnt, and how sitting in a car for 24 hours out of 72 does not burn many calories... then i got on the scale this morning and saw that i lost 0.2 pounds. grace. that little, tiny, smallest-amount-my-scale-will-measure number is a little but of grace from God. i am now 4 pounds behind for 25/25th, but i didnt gain weight the week after i lost no weight. its been rough.

i went grocery shopping yesterday and stocked up on a few basic foods that i was eating every day before i got out of the habit i had created. i have yogurt, some honey nut os, bananas, whole wheat pasta, double fiber bread, and steamable bag veggies to last for a little more than a week. its boring, but this will be a week of mostly vegetarian meals that all look pretty much the same. fewer healthier options are the best way for me to curb my calories and stay within my limits. so thats the plan. three days in im doing pretty well.

about the gym, i dont remember the last time i went. our schedule has been packed, hectic, unreliable. jason knows this and tried to make time last night, but didnt realize he has already overbooked me with commitments. so we are trying again. my goal is three days this week. and i need to leave the house for those workouts. i work harder at the gym than i do upstairs, and i need a large number next week.

ill be back soon to log a workout. promise.