Monday, August 5, 2013

a lot can happen in 10 months.

july 17, 6am. the last photo of that belly.

july 17th, 5pm. my freshly bathed baby girl. 

july 21, 830am lola's first sunday

i left things quite unexplained last october. jason was finishing up his last semester of school and i was swamped taking care of the boys (and my own two).  we were stressed out. it also happened to be the month that we had decided to start cooking a new addition.  i saw my doctor october 4th to have my iud removed and was pregnant by the 17th. (as with georgie, i am SO THANKFUL for the short amount of time it took to concieve. those years waiting on emma taught me a lesson i will not forget.) we traveled to california for thanksgiving to surprise jasons family. i thought i was pregnant before we left town, but couldnt get my hands on a test in time. so when we got home again november 26 i took a test and knew for sure. we waited untill christmas to share the news in person with as many friends and family as we could. and yes, i did run brazens new years eve and day races while 11 weeks pregnant. and that was my first and last run of the year as i caused a stress fracture in my right foot.

i decided that tracking my weight and activity throughout what i expect to be my last pregnancy might not be my smartest (or enjoyable) choice. i have always gained more than 50 pounds with previous pregnancies and didnt expect this one to be much different. knowing that i set aside the record keeping for when i would be ready to take it off again.

by the way, thats lola mae up there. she was born july 17th, and is perfect.

as she is only 2.5 weeks old, im not quite up to tracking my weight as it decreases yet. but thats what got me thinking, and ready to write a little.

i am thankful for short labors and fast deliveries. lolas was not my longest (by a smidge) but definitly was my hardest. even so, i am quick to be out of bed, out of the house, back to doing life. i like it that way. today while i was (begrudgingly) loading the dishwasher i thought about what other moms 2.5 weeks postpartum might be doing while the little one sleeps and the two older kids run around after being let out of daily quiet time.  resting? not listening to the kids at all as they have a parent near by who takes them often to give mom a breather? taking an afternoon nap? (i often squeeze in a nap with lola durring quiet time. just didnt today.)

jason told me after one of many comments from a friend about my being up and about so soon, that while i think im normal, i am very much not. well then. what is? (thats not really my point though.) what i was thinking this afternoon as i loaded the dishwasher (other than how much i miss ash, who did my dishes every day she was here. it was wonderful.) was that sometimes i want to be "normal". i want those expectations. to rest every day. to have my other children looked after. to have my household chores taken care of for me. to feel comfortable in maternity pants for several more weeks.

but im not. i have had help.  our church family (i adore them) brought us 8 dinners, starting the day we got home from the hospital and lasting until ash arrived. then there was 6 days of ashley in town coinciding with vbs taking my big kids 3 hours a day. and in just 9 more days, my mother in law arrives for 5 days and almost as soon as she leaves, my mom comes for almost a week.  but that extra help doesnt make me feel any less obligated to keep up with normal life.

and for me normal life includes watching what i eat and exercizing. im not sure i am ready to be back to that part of life yet. its only been a few weeks. but at the same time, i feel great. i feel like lola has been here for ages and my body wants to be able to move like it used to. so slowly, its time to begin again. 

yesterday i spent a couple hours pulling weeds in the garden. (yes, it took nearly 2 hours to get most of them out. yikes.) when i went to bed last night i told jason my back would be sore in the morning. he reminded me that my hamstrings would be too. so today my body reminds me what it feels like to be moved and used and im looking forward to reminding it what running feels like.

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